Page 63 of The Eternal Mirror
The words bite deep, but I have no defense.
“Don’t be too hard on him,” Sheela says. “For a long time, I was the same. I just kept my head down and got through my life. And you saw what that dungeon did to him in a month. When he was eleven, he was there for six months. Fury was hardly sane. He would have done anything to keep Fury out of there.”
“Don’t defend me,” I growl. “I know now that what I did was wrong. All I can do is try to do better in the future.”
“You’re a good man,” Sheela says, her tone fierce.
I don’t look at Amber. I don’t want to see the condemnation in her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I know you’re a good man as well. I just feel so angry and helpless and...sorry for myself. Because I have to go back, and I don’t want to.”
I look at her then, and our gazes lock. For the first time, she lets her defenses down, and I can see into her soul. I know I won’t fight her anymore.
All the same, if she thinks she’s going back alone, then she’s fucking deluded.
Chapter 21
Back into the Belly of the Beastmaster
Istand in the early morning light. The camp is coming awake around us, but I feel shut off in a little bubble with the people I love.
Me facing them.
They’re all in a line, looking at me with varying levels of disapproval.
Zayne. Josh—Grimlet on his shoulder. Sheela. And finally, Khaosti. Something changed in him during that last conversation over our early breakfast. I saw acceptance in his eyes. He knows he’s not going to change my mind. I also know that I’m not going to change his…though that won’t stop me from trying.
But more than that, I think he’s realized that I’m doing the right thing. He has a lot to atone for, and maybe he sees this as a chance. He always said that he doesn’t care about the world, that all he cares about is me. Maybe that’s changing, or maybe he realizes he can’t have one without the other.
I’ve already spoken to Zayne earlier, trying to persuade him to head back to Valandria or Earth. I can open a mirror wherever he wants to go. I’d feel much happier with him on a completely different world than Khronus. He wouldn’t even consider it—he’s so stubborn. He’d rather stay in the same world as I am. He says I might need rescuing.
All the same, I can’t resist having one last go at convincing him to leave this place because I think things are going to get worse on Astrali, probably very quickly. And I’d prefer him and Josh to be out of the way.
I cross over to where he’s standing, go up on tiptoes, and kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you for everything,” I say.
“Don’t talk like you’re going to die,” he snaps.
“I’m not going to die. I just wanted to check in, make sure you haven’t changed your mind. You can go back to Earth. You could go to Hawaii—you know that’s where I was going to take Khaos before you got yourself kidnapped and I had to rescue you.”
He snorts. “You won’t guilt me into going.”
“You could take Killian with you.” He’s another one who has said he would rather stay. “I can open a mirror. Just think of all the hot beach babes, slathered in coconut sunscreen, desperate for a couple of hot shifters.”
He snorts. “No. I’d rather stay here. I like it here. I’ve been having so much fun.”
“God, you’re such an asshole.”
He doesn’t argue, just gives a smirk. I nod and then give him another quick kiss before turning to brother number two. I wrap my arms around him.
“You take care of Zayne, okay?”
“Of course. You’ll come back soon, won’t you, Amber?”
“You know I will. And look after Grimlet. He needs lots of cuddles.”
“I can do that.”
“Good.” I reach out and ruffle his hair one last time, then shake hands with Grimlet. He doesn’t need words. He knows what to do.
