Page 43 of Another Round
“I want to see him.”
“I know but we’ve got to take care of you first.”
I meet the physician’s eyes, who nods to me over her head. “As I was telling her, aside from the concussion and a few scrapes and bruises, there are no other injuries or areas of concern. But there’s one more test I need to do.”
I sit next to her, grasping her tiny hand, and keep a constant watch over the technician who’s prepping equipment by Evie’s hip. I’ve had enough bullshit for one night—well now morning—and I’m not in the mood for anyone doing anything else that will harm her or my baby. “Is this really necessary?”
The doctor glances up from his tablet. He doesn’t seem to be offended by my question. Or maybe he pretends not to be from my tone and appearance.
“I understand your girlfriend—”
“Fiancée.”
Now Evie squeezes my fingers, giving me a weak yet authentic smile. Reassuring me they’re fine. It’s fine. When nothing about this ordeal has been fucking fine.
“I understand that your fiancée has been through a lot, but this is the only way to evaluate the pregnancy since she isn’t very far along. I want to double check for the heartbeat. It may be too early, but we’ll take a look just to reassure ourselves.”
There’s nothing I would love more but Evie’s already been through hell, and I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize her health or her pregnancy. We both look at her and she nods, eager with the speed and force.
“We want to hear please.”
“Well it’s too soon to detect it audibly but we’ll be able to see it on the ultrasound as a flashing light.”
I shouldn’t allow myself to be excited. But I do. I am. Unable to stop myself with her smiling so huge now with the anticipation. Still trembling despite the heavy blankets covering her until the young woman lifts them up to her thighs and down to her stomach, helping her position her feet in the stir ups.
No one says a word. I’m not sure if Evie and I are even breathing as the physician twists a wand across her smooth skin. Tears actually prick my eyes when the squiggly circle blinks on the black and white screen. Tiny but strong. My child.
“I’m sorry.”
Beast mode, only awakened by her, activates when she sobs and not with the same joy exploding through me. The first time I’ve ever seen her full-on cry and the emotion fucking guts me. Her head twists side to side against the rough fabric of the pillow as she squeezes her eyes shut. Huge droplets slip underneath the lids and flow down her pale cheeks. I jump up from my chair so fast the stupid thing flips backward but I don’t give a damn. All I want is her—to find out what’s wrong with her—and fix it. I lean over, cupping her face to hold her still and shut out the rest of the world. “What’s the matter?”
“I messed up.” She sucks in a huge breath, unable to stop the flood and grasps my hands. “I almost lost all of this because I was so stupid. I shouldn’t have gone outside in the middle of the night without you. I thought it would just take a minute, and nobody would be out there, and I’d be fine, and I’d—”
“Shhhhh.” Hysterical with fear as reality sets in of what could have happened, she pinches my skin from her manic grip. I pull her against me again, ignoring the awkwardness of the other people in the room watching and her half naked with a stupid instrument shoved in her vagina. “It’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay.”
“It’s not okay. You were right. I’m naïve and reckless. Please don’t hate me. I love you and our baby, and I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want Gus to die because of me. I don’t want you to hate me.”
She’s exhausted and not making much sense. Yet I still know what she means. I understand the terror and relief and panic she feels because I feel them too. I curl her tighter to my chest muffling her words and hopefully eliminating her anxiety. “I could never hate you. I’m pissed as hell at you but that doesn’t change a damn thing. I love you too and our child. I’ll never leave either of you. I swear to god I won’t. Gus is going to be okay too. I just know it.”
After a few more sobs, she settles down and her body relaxes in my arms, but I don’t let her go. Not yet. Not when we just saw the first tangible proof of our future together.
A throat clears next to us. “Well then. I think we’re all done here. I’ll send in the nurse to finish your release papers and home care instructions.”
I rotate out of the way to give the tech room to work yet remain silent. We’ve already shared way too much personal information with these strangers, and they don’t need to see or hear anymore. Once the woman slides out the end of the bed and draws the cover over Evie, I sit next to her. Gently lifting her up to a sitting position and laying her against me. Needing to hold her so close while we wait.
“You’re mad at me.”
I want to say ‘no’ when I hear the uncertainty bobbling in her voice. Lying would be so much easier to just relieve her worry and move past this. But I made her promise to be honest, and I owe her the same. Even when telling the truth isn’t easy. “Very.”
Her fingers twist in the green fabric of the scrubs they gave me since I was shirtless in my haste to find her. “I’m sorry.”
I stroke over her tangled hair. The scent of rain seeped in the strands that makes my fury flare from the reminder of her laid out on the ground. “I don’t know what you were thinking leaving without me.”
“I didn’t want to wake you up.”
Too sweet for her own good despite how tough she wants to be. I lean back from our embrace so she can see the staunch resolution in my expression. “Always wake me up. I’ve been fucking asleep for years before I met you, and I want to be with you no matter what time it is.”
“Okay.”
