Page 52 of I'll Be There
“Okay.”
The loon called again, and she dipped her foot into the cool water. “Where are you right now?”
“I’m at Seth Turnquist’s place. It’s up the trail, very secluded. Amazing view. I’m on his deck, watching the stars.”
Frogs chirruped on his end of the phone, and she imagined him sitting on an Adirondack chair. Maybe wearing his faded jeans, a T-shirt, smelling of the forest.
A silence fell between them, easy, and she longed to be leaning back against his chest as they watched the same stars.
“Lize, can I ask you something?”
Or maybe she’d turn in his arms, feather her lips against his.
She sighed. “Mmmhmm.”
“I was thinking about what you said about Deep Haven, and...honey, are you saying you don’t want to go to Montana?”
Oh. She hadn’t expected...her throat tightened, scratchy now. “I...oh, Conner, I didn’t know how to tell you. But...I just can’t sit in your fifth wheel, thinking about you out there. And—”
“I built you a house.”
“You...what?”
“For a wedding gift—that’s why I was late. I built you a house. It’s not big, but it’s on a couple acres, and it overlooks the mountains, and there’s a little shop in the back for your pottery. And...oh, shoot, Liza, I should have asked. I thought...”
She closed her eyes against the heat in them. “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”
He let out a small noise through the line. “Not if it’s not what you want.”
“It is what I want—really. It’s amazing, and I can’t wait to see it...”
And there was the pause that said it all.
“But.”
She drew in a breath. “It’s not Montana. It’s not Deep Haven.”
“It’s the smoke jumping,” he said quietly.
She shook her head, even though he couldn’t see it. “If only it were that simple.” She lay back on the dock, looking at the stars.
“Make it simple for me, babe. What’s going on?”
“I can’t sleep, Conner.”
Nothing on the other end, so, “Every time I close my eyes, I see the...the bear. Sometimes, yeah, I’m so tired I just fall asleep anyway, but I’m always—or nearly always—being chased. Over and over until he catches me. I can actually smell his breath on me, feel his claws ripping into me. I wake up screaming, sweaty, and it’s all fresh, as if it just happened.”
“Oh, Liza. When did this start?”
“When I left Montana.”When I left you.“In the hospital, there was also noise, and you spent the night so often, and...I felt safe. Now...I sometimes sleep in my car. That helps.”
“You sleep in yourcar?”
“It’s safe. I can lock myself in.”
“Oh, babe. Why didn’t you tell me?”
His tone of voice told her exactly how he had leaned forward, probably run his hand through his hair in his signature frustrated gesture.
