Page 91 of I'll Be There
“Sorry. I didn’t want him to go to his grave with me lying to him.”
“But it’s okay to lie to me.”
“You looked like you were doing okay. Marrying a pretty girl, got a new set of brothers.”
“Are you kidding me? It was eating me up inside that you weren’t here this weekend. I didn’t pick a best man because—shoot, Just—I wantedyouto be my best man.”
“You do?”
“Idid. I’m not getting married, remember?”
Justin took another drink. Silence.
“I thought you loved this girl.”
“I’m going to hit you again.”
“Please. Give me a reason to hit you back.” Justin raised an eyebrow, almost a dare.
And shoot, the coiled, dark heat still ranged inside him. Dangerous.
Unpredictable.
“Of course I love her.”
“Then, what’s the problem?”
Conner stared at him, nonplussed. “She doesn’t want me.”
“Yes, she does—”
“No, dude, you didn’t hear her. I offered to give up smoke jumping. She practically called me a liar—”
“That’s because you are one.”
Conner found his feet. Justin held up a hand. “Just let me put down my, um, root beer.”
“I’m not lying—”
“Yes you are. To yourself. It’s in your blood—maybe not smoke jumping, but this impulsive, all-out, do-something-about-it nature that drives you. You don’t sit on your hands when trouble calls. You go. You’re that guy who raises his hand first when the patriots call for volunteers. The first one out of the plane. The guy who jumps out from behind a truck and says, and I quote, ‘Shootme!’”
Conner rocked back. “It wasyou. You shot the guy on the roof.”
“Of course I did. I wasn’t going to let him kill my little brother. I’m just sorry...” He made a face. “Sorry I didn’t get Blankenship first. Could have saved your buddy Reuben. And of course, Jim Micah. I was having a hard time deciding whether to go after you guys in the building, or take out the shooters. Then it was way out of control and...” Justin wiped his hand across his mouth. “Close one.”
“Mmmhmm.”
“But see, not you.Youwould have run into the burning building. And that’s something you can’t separate from yourself.” He clamped Conner on the shoulder. “This girl knows you better than you know yourself—and that’s what has her freaked out. She knows you can’t stop yourself.”
Conner ran his thumb over his swollen knuckles. “I met her up here, you know. In Deep Haven. The north woods were on fire, and the team came in to help fight it. I think I fell in love with her the first day I met her, when she showed up with donuts. She invited me to watch her make pottery, and we had our first date right downtown, at a festival, eating Pierre’s pizza. A few days later, I barely survived a flashover, and...I came down to the beach. She was sitting there—told me later that God had woken her up topray for me. She was—is—calm to my crazy world. And, she listens. I used to call her from strike camp, and just her voice...just her...voice...”
He cuffed his hand over his mouth, looked up at Justin, his eyes thickening. “This can’t be...she is...she is my only.”
“Okay, bro, breathe. Let’s fix this. It’s what we do, right?”
Conner bowed his head, wincing.
“Get up.” Justin had him by the collar and dragged him off the table. “Get cleaned up. We’re going to town.”
