Page 59 of Tate
She made a face. “So do I…”
“Of course you do. But this…political life is challenging. And consuming. Some of us have to stay behind and support those who are changing the world. Your mother is a fireball. I’m not. But I do know how to keep the fire going.” He winked.
She didn’t want to know what he meant. Except, “Then why did you leave her? You two have lived apart for…well, nearly ten years.”
He frowned, something quick. “It was because of you, Glo. You needed to get away. After Joy died, you were so withdrawn and scared and?—”
“I was withdrawn and scared because Mother blamed me for her death.” Oh, and she didn’t mean for that to come out, but…well, “When I woke up after the surgery, Mother wasn’t there. She was with Joy, waiting for her to wake up. And I got it…she was always with Joy. Joy was her favorite. Joy needed her, and Mother likes to be needed. But…I needed her, too, and…”
“And she didn’t show up, even after Joy passed.” Her father touched her arm. “And then we brought you home to the room you shared with your sister.”
“I couldn’t sleep there, Dad. I just kept staring at her empty bed.”
“I know. That’s when you started sleeping in the guest room. Maybe I shouldn’t have taken that job in Minnesota, but we thought it was best to get you into a new environment. And your mother was busy with her life in DC. Still is. She’s always had a free spirit—and I didn’t want to get in the way.”
“Me either. I guess that’s why I feel like a guest in my mother’s life.” She stirred her yogurt. “And frankly, that’s okay. I don’t like the things she likes. I’m…”
“A poet like your old man.” He laughed and gave her arm a squeeze. “You are so much like me, Glo. Thoughtful. You see the needs of others and jump in. But you’re like your mother too…a fireball in your own right. Creative, bold, smart. And you need a man who will tend your fires. Is Sloan that guy? Can he put his dreams aside to keep yours alive?”
She considered him. “What are you saying?”
He ran his thumb down the side of his coffee cup. “I keep seeing a man sitting out by the pool every night. Sleeping on a deck chair.”
She shook her head, turned away. “I’m not…I don’t deserve him, Dad.”
“What?”
“No, really. I’ve been a total jerk to him this week. I’ve deliberately thrown myself at Sloan just to make him jealous.”
“Why?” Her father’s tone betrayed the shame she felt.
“Because…well, why should someone put their life on the line for me? I…I’m not…I’m just a regular person. I’m not the president, or even anyone important. I’m just…I’m just…well, you know.”
“No. I don’t know. My beautiful daughter?”
“Not the beautiful daughter, Dad. I’m the other one. The one who lived.”
He just blinked at her, and she looked away, her throat tight.
“Glo—”
“Joy should have lived, and we all know it. And it was my fault she didn’t.”
“Hardly!” He turned and took her face in his hands. “She was sick. Too sick. And that wasn’t on you.”
“It was my kidney, my body.”
“You were fraternal twins, not identical. And we knew it was a long shot. For the record, I was against the transplant from the first.”
Glo shook her head, moving away from his grip. “I would have done it, even if you had said no. I loved her…” Her eyes filled. “I just don’t understand God. Joy was perfect. Smart. Beautiful. And yet I was born with the healthy body. It’s a terrible joke on everyone, and Mother knows it best of all.”
“Your mother has her faults—she is very focused on her goals. But she loves you, Glo.”
Glo drew in a breath. “I know. And I love her. I have no reason to complain, I know that.”
He took her hand. “You’ve had a few rough starts, Glo-light, so I think you have reason to complain. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be safe. Or happy. Or to have someone protect you. You have your own light, Glo, separate from Joy’s. It’s time to let it shine.”
“I don’t know, Dad. All I’ve done this week is push Tate away. If I were him, I wouldn’t stick around.”
