Page 16 of Our Big White Lie
Aunt Elizabeth and Grandma wouldn’t be here today, though, so I tried not to think about that inevitable shitshow. For now, Ava and I got out of the car and headed inside.
I stole a glance at her, and something in my chest went a little fluttery. She was cute as hell whenever she was lounging at home in pajamas with her dark hair pulled up in a messy bun or ponytail, or when she was in “miserable business casual,” as she called it. Tonight, she had on a black blouse and snug jeans, and she had a braid draped over each shoulder.
“Just admit you’re cheating,”Jillian’s voice echoed in my mind.“She’s hot as hell and her bedroom is right across from yours. I’m not stupid, you know?”
“I’m not cheating,”I heard myself insisting for the billionth time, and I hadn’t been.“I just can’t afford a place on my own!”
“So, move in with me! We’ve been together a year. What’s the holdup?”
We’d split up not long after that because I’d finally spelled out all the reasons I hadn’t wanted to move in with her after a solid year. That had turned into a fight, which had been the end of us. We’d packed up each other’s various belongings in our respective homes and met one last time for what felt like a hostage exchange, and that was that. We were done.
Though as I followed Ava up to my parents’ front door, I had to admit I could see why Jillian had been worried that I was cheating. She’d been frustratingly insecure anyway, but I had to admit that I probably would’ve been uneasy if my girlfriend had been living with a woman as amazing as Ava. Especially if I knew that woman was single, into women, and had been joined at my girlfriend’s hip for most of her life.
I kind of felt guilty about that now. Not enough to unblock Jillian and text her to let her know I understood where she was coming from, though—we werewaytoo toxic for a million reasons that had nothing to do with Ava.
That was something to unpack with a therapist later. For now? It was New Year’s Eve, and we were joining my family for what would hopefully be a festive evening.
It didn’t get off to the greatest start, though—we’d been in the house all of five minutes before my mom summoned me to the kitchen under the pretense of helping her with something. She wasn’t subtle; I could sense the uneasiness coming off her, and I knew in an instant she wasn’t asking me to restock a snack tray.
Sure enough, as soon as we were alone in the kitchen, Mom turned around and faced me. “Listen, I don’t want to rain on your engagement or—I want you and Ava to be happy, of course.”
“Right. I know.” But I was nervous now, because something was obviously on her mind. Crap, was I losing my own mom as an ally? I’d thought she supported me and?—
“I’m just concerned because you twojuststarted dating recently, didn’t you?” Mom asked.
Oh. That. Okay, that was valid.
“Yeah, we did,” I said. “But we’ve known each other since forever. We live together.”
“There’s a difference between being friends, being roommates, and being spouses, though,” she insisted. “Don’t you want to be girlfriends for a while before you’re wives?”
I shifted uncomfortably. “It really won’t change much, honestly.”
She eyed me. “If it doesn’t change much, then what’s the point of getting married?”
Because Ava would do for you what I’m doing for her mom.
I swallowed the emotions that thought tried to bring up; I didn’t want to think about them right now. “Insurance? Taxes?” I shrugged. “So if something happens to one of us, the other can make decisions or be at the hospital bedside?”
Mom straightened. “Oh. I… okay, I guess those make sense. And you trust her with those decisions?” Her eyebrows knitted together. “If anything happens to you, you’d trust her to advocate for you?”
“Absolutely,” I said without hesitation, and I meant it. This marriage may have been for show, but if Ava was ever tasked with advocating for me in a medical situation, I knew to my core that I could trust her.
Mom studied me. I thought she might press, but her shoulders relaxed a bit and she nodded. “Okay. I’m sure you two know what you’re doing. It still just seems so fast.”
“I know.” I laughed quietly. “But once we finally got together, it was like, damn, why didn’t we start doing this ages ago?”
“I’m sure it was. We’ve all wondered for a long time, honestly.”
“You—really?”
“Of course.” She smiled. “The speed was a little concerning, but ‘Ava and Tori are together’?” She snorted. “That’s about as surprising as Aunt Elizabeth showing up to an event with anopinion.”
I laughed, but I was kind of reeling, too. Marco had said as much. Our friends had been zero percent surprised about us getting together. My ex-girlfriend’s insecurities over me and Ava had turned our relationship into a nightmare.
Thank God I’d come to my senses.
The party continued, and I managed to get into the flow of things even after my mental stumble about my mom’s comments. We had everyone convinced our wedding was the real deal. That was the important thing. Everything else…
