Page 2 of Our Big White Lie
Before I could say anything, she whispered, “Oh, honey,” and pulled me into a hug I didn’t know I needed. I sagged into her embrace and sighed, squeezing my eyes shut as I tried not to cry. Tori would never judge me if I did—it wouldn’t be the first time she’d held me while I fell apart—but I didn’t want everyone else at the shower, least of all my mom, asking why my eyes and face were red.
After a moment, she stroked my hair and whispered, “Why don’t I take these to Nikki and your mom? You can stay in here and catch your breath.”
I nodded as I released her. “Thanks.”
She didn’t say another word—just grabbed the plates and headed out onto the deck. Behind me, I heard her cheerfully saying, “I brought you two some cake! Do you want a punch refill?”
Closing my eyes again, I rolled my suddenly tense shoulders and pushed out a ragged breath. I had no idea how I’d have stayed on my feet through Mom’s illness without Tori. Or made it through any number of tough times in my life without her. And thank God she was a close family friend, too, so nobody ever batted an eye when she came with me to showers, parties, weddings, barbecues, or whatever.
“Of course she can come,”people always said when I asked.“Everyone knows that wherever one of you goes, so does the other.”
“When you say ‘bring a friend,’ do you mean a friend? Or do you mean Tori?”
“When are you two going to just admit you’re more than friends?”
Watching her now, I sighed. More than friends with a woman as amazing as her?
I should be so lucky.
As Tori chatted with my mom and sister-in-law, I moved back into the kitchen. Aunt Lacey wasn’t there, so she’d probably taken some more cake out to people. I leaned against the counter and tried to collect myself.
I didn’t blame Mom for the way she felt. I didn’t blame her for feeling that way about it today while she was celebrating her niece’s upcoming wedding. She had every right to grieve everything her awful disease had stolen from her. It was just a stab in the heart every time she sadly let another piece go. She’d almost had to miss my youngest brother’s wedding last summer because she’d been in the hospital with an infection. By the skin of her teeth, she’d been able to go, but she’d been practically bedridden for days after.
And since I’d been single for the past three years without any prospects in sight, the chances of her coming to my wedding were slim to none.
It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right.
But short of running out, finding a girlfriend, and getting married on a whim…
There wasn’t a damn thing I could do to fix it.
CHAPTER TWO
Tori
Iwasn’t at all surprised that Ava rallied. She’d needed a few minutes, but by the time I came back in to check on her, she had her smile back in place. Somehow, she even managed to mostly hide the pain in her eyes; that was something she’d gotten good at ever since Gail got sick.
Watching her get through the rest of the bridal shower was awful. She laughed through all the silly shower games. She oohed and awwed over the gifts her cousin received. She smiled brightly for all the photos.
I wondered if anyone else knew she was dying inside. Or why.
Ava wasn’t about to let her sadness encroach on her cousin’s day, though, and she kept that mask firmly in place for the rest of the shower. We stayed to help clean up, and then we drove her mom home.
We both got out to help Gail into the house and make sure she was situated. She still had pretty good mobility, but she got tired easily, especially after a day out with people. Vince, Ava’s dad, was home, and once Gail was in her chair with a glass of water and some meds, he shooed us out.
“I’ll take it from here, girls,” he insisted. “Thanks for getting her home.”
Ava and I each hugged Gail goodbye, and then we headed out.
On the way back to the rental house we shared, Ava finally let the mask drop. She practically collapsed against the passenger seat, staring out the window but not really focusing on anything.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she lied. “It’s just… hard.”
“I know.” I glanced at her before looking at the road again. “What happened, anyway? You were fine, and then…”
Ava sighed heavily. “When I was going outside to take her and Nikki the cake, I heard them talking.” She seemed to deflate even more. “She was telling Nikki how bummed she is that she’ll never see me get married.”
