Page 3 of Our Big White Lie
My heart dropped. “Oh. Ouch.”
“Right?” Ava ran her hand through her long dark hair. “And like, she’d never want me to just get married for the sake of having a wedding, you know? She’s not… She’s not like that.”
“Of course she isn’t.” I’d known Gail way too long to ever think she’d want that. “But I think a lot of moms dream about seeing their daughters as brides.”
“They do. And I just hate that she’s not going to, you know? Because even if I met Miss Right today, I’m not going to rush into getting married. I want to be with someone for a while. Get to know her. Live together. Figure out if we’re compatible.” She paused. “And, like, put some actual time into planning a wedding.”
I nodded as she spoke. “I don’t think anyone—especially your mom—would want you to do it any differently.”
“I know. It just sucks.”
“Fuck cancer.”
“Fuckcancer.”
We rode in silence for most of the fifteen-minute drive to our house. What else was there to say?
I wanted so badly to help, but there wasn’t much I could do about this. It had been hard, watching her mom’s battle take its toll on Ava and the whole family. There were few things in the world I wanted more than for my best friend to be happy, and I hated the powerlessness in a situation like this. Sure, I could provide distractions for her. I could make her favorite meals on nights when she was really struggling. I could suggest silly movie marathons and spa days. I could get my cat high on catnip until his antics made Ava laugh so hard she cried.
But I wasn’t a doctor or a miracle worker. There was nothing I could do to help Gail beat this thing or help Ava cope with eventually losing her mom.
And there wasn’t anything I could do now that Ava was feeling extra sad—and, knowing her, seriously guilty—that her mom wouldn’t ever get to see her as a bride. I hated that. I mean, what could anyone do in a situation like this? Short of offering to get married just so?—
That thought almost had me slamming on the brakes and swerving.
What the hell?
Beside me, Ava sat up a little. “What’s wrong?”
“Oh. Uh.” I cleared my throat and adjusted my grip on the wheel. “Just… thought that squirrel was going to run out in front of me.”
She peered through the windshield. “I didn’t even see it.”
“It was…” I gestured over my shoulder.
“Glad you were paying attention,” she murmured. Yeah, I imagine she’d zoned out even more than I had, which was fine since she didn’t need to focus on the road.
I, on the other hand, did need to focus, and I tried like hell to do exactly that for the rest of the ride home.
But my brain kept spinning out over that one ridiculous thought that had dropped into my mind.
Yeah, in theory, we could stage a wedding so Gail got to see her daughter get married. Except… I mean, who would buy that? Who would actually believe that we’d suddenly decided to get hitched? We weren’t even dating.
We just… lived together. And we went everywhere together. Including to each other’s family functions. We’d been mistaken for a couplehowmany times? Even by people who didn’t already know we were both lesbians?
I chewed the inside of my cheek.
“How exactly are you two not dating?”my older brother, Duncan, had asked last Christmas when he’d been just a little drunk.“Like if you were dating, what specifically would you be doing differently?”
I’d given him a pointed look.“Is that really something you want your sister to spell out?”
It had taken his tipsy brain a few seconds to connect those wires, and then he’d grimaced and shaken his head.“Oh God. No.No!Never mind.”He’d put up his hands in surrender.“No, we arenottalking about this!”
I’d cackled, and I’d been quietly relieved he was no longer grilling me about my relationship with my best-friend-slash-roommate.
Here in this car…
I mean…
