Page 7 of Our Big White Lie
“It was, I promise,” I whispered. “I only wanted to try to help your mom live out her dream. But not if…” I trailed off, not sure how to finish that.
“No, I get it.” She pushed out a ragged breath before meeting my gaze. “I’m sorry. I… shouldn’t have flipped out on you like that.”
“You’re going through a lot. Maybe I should’ve waited to suggest it.”
Ava shook her head. “No. I probably still would’ve needed Molly to talk me down.”
That made me laugh. “Ahh,nowit all makes sense. Molly brought you back down to earth.”
Ava chuckled, shrugging as a blush bloomed in her cheeks. “Doesn’t she usually?”
“Well, someone has to.”
She rolled her eyes and gave my arm a playful smack.
Yeah, we were good. Thank God. And thank Molly.
After a moment, Ava sobered and met my gaze. “I, um… I did give your idea some more thought. And maybe it’s not a bad idea after all. But maybe it’s…” She sighed and sank back against the couch. “One minute I think it’s the worst thing ever because we’d be lying to her. The next, I mean—if it’ll make her happy…”
“You don’t have to make a decision either way right now.”
“Except I kind of do.” She stared down at her wringing hands. “I don’t know how much time Mom has.”
My heart sank. There was that. Gail’s treatments were keeping things contained for now, but her doctors had been clear that this only ended one way. And sometimes when cancer got ahead of the treatment, things could happen very, very quickly.
Ava swallowed. “If we do this, we need todo it. Set a date, make the announcement, and get it rolling.” She searched my eyes, her forehead creasing as she asked, “Are you still game to do it?”
My heart sped up and I wasn’t entirely sure why. “Of course.” I reached for her forearm. “I wouldn’t have suggested it if I wasn’t willing to follow through.”
She nodded slowly. “It’s going to be expensive. And probably really time-consuming.” Her brow pinched. “And after my mom dies, I mean—we should probably still keep this between us, you know? Even after we”—she made air quotes—“divorce?”
“We should.”
“But that means everyone around us will think they’ve been to our first wedding. When we marry other people down the line…”
There was that. And it was a tough pill to swallow. At the same time, I was fairly certain I could live with the guilt of a fake wedding over wishing I’d done something to help make a dying woman happy.
I took a deep breath and squeezed her arm. “I’m in. Maybe a few years down the line, we can tell people what we did. I think they’ll understand, you know? Especially after…” I hesitated. “After they’ve had time to grieve. But I’m also okay with taking it to the grave.”
Ava studied me, and then her features softened, and I thought she was on the verge of tears. She sat up and leaned across the cushion, pulling me into a hug. “You’re the best. I can’t believe you’d do this for my mom.”
“Of course I would,” I whispered as I returned her embrace.
But I’m not just doing it for your mom,I didn’t say out loud.I’m doing it for you.
We gave it a few days before we made the final decision. Then we waited another week, just to be sure we’d really thought it through.
Though we were committed now, and we were starting to make some plans behind the scenes, we kept things quiet for a while. Gail was doing well and her most recent oncologist visit had been very positive, so the clock wasn’t ticking as loudly as it could’ve been.
There was also the part where Ava’s cousin was getting married. We didn’t want to upstage Ginny and her new husband, so we kept the whole thing under our hats for now.
That also gave us some time to plant the seeds so we weren’t just springing this engagement on everyone.
It wasn’t difficult to sell, either. We’d been inseparable since first grade, and we’d lived together off and on since we’d graduated high school. Most people were shocked when they realized weweren’tdating, including friends and relatives we saw regularly. So literally no one was going to be surprised if we finally admitted to what they thought they’d known all along.
It started with a few social media posts and selfies that gently tipped the scales from“really close friends and roommates”to“okay maybe we’re dating now.”A picture of us cuddled up on the couch to watch a movie on a Friday night. Dinner for two at an upscale restaurant with a notoriously romantic ambiance.
When friends started asking,“So, are you two…?”, we were playfully coy at first, but then started admitting that, yes, we were dating.
