Page 29 of A Wager With A Rake
So he kissed her instead.Using tender kisses to avoid thinking about what came next.He’d never kissed a woman as hard and long as he kissed her.Long enough that his cock was hard again, and her hands took to roaming his body until she gripped it.
They didn’t even break the kiss as he shifted her beneath him again, entering her with agonizing slowness.Everything about their second joining was a stark contrast to the first.It was slow and controlled with his entire body laid against hers as he moved in slow, hard thrusts, entering her as deeply as he could.
He never wanted it to end, swallowing all her moans as they edged closer to the height of pleasure.Court broke their kiss, feathering quick kisses along her jaw until he reached her ear.“Everything about you is… Tess, you are perfect.”
“Court,” she whispered, her fingernails biting into his shoulders again.
Losing himself, he thrust into her again, edging them both toward the release they desired.That they needed.When her core tightened around him again, he bit into his bottom lip, forcing himself to hold back until moans and obscenities escaped her.He pulled out just in time to coat her skin again, kissing her to bury his own moans against her lips.
Pulling back, he searched her face.Uncertain about how to read her expression.
He reached for the cloth again to clean her and then lay beside her, pulling the covers over them.Court wasn’t sure how to voice what he felt, and the silence hung between them as he grazed his fingers tenderly over her back.
Had he just made love to her?It had never been like that with anyone.He was a generous lover, but never had he connected with another in that way, or sought to draw out the pleasure just so he could remain joined as one to the other person.
He wasn’t certain how he could go on without her.And not just in his bed, which had been the most perfect, intimate experience of his life, but without her at his side.If he were going to get down on one knee and beg a woman to be his, it would be her.Perhaps only then would he ever sleep well again, since all he saw when he closed his eyes was her.
But he knew he wasn’t good enough for her.He didn’t deserve her love.If she could ever feel such a thing for him.His father had failed at so many things and told Court every day that he would be nothing but a failure, too.She’d already had a miserable marriage.And he couldn’t subject her to another.
He could make his way into her bed each night.And while that certainly held appeal, that wasn’t a life for her.She deserved love and happiness.
Theodosia’s breathing turned even as they lay there.Court gazed down at Theodosia’s sleeping form, barely illuminated by the candlelight.Her dark lashes fanned out against her cheeks, and her lips slightly parted.She looked so peaceful, so beautiful.His perfect Tess.No, not his, which caused his heart to seize in his chest.He loved her.Somehow he’d been fool enough to allow himself to fall for her.And he loved her enough to let her go.
Rosewood would be hers, he thought to himself, tenderly brushing a lock of hair from her brow.He’d already planned to sign the deed over to her, to ensure her future was secure.That was what she had truly needed in all of this.
She deserved better than a broken man like him.A man with a past steeped in his transgressions and his father’s constant voice in his head.No, she deserved a chance at real happiness, with someone whole and worthy of her love.
Easing out of bed, careful not to disturb her, Court quickly dressed himself.Each button fastened, each garment donned, felt like a piece of armor against the emotions battering his broken heart.With one last, longing look at Theodosia, he slipped from the room.Knowing that he couldn’t linger any longer or he wouldn’t be strong enough to resist the urge to give in to his selfishness and remain with her.
His feet carried him solemnly to his study—her study.Sinking into the chair, Court lit a candle on the desk.Then he pulled out a sheet of parchment and dipped a quill in the inkwell.
With a heavy hand, he penned a missive to his solicitor, instructing him to draw up the necessary paperwork to transfer Rosewood to Theodosia.Then he turned his attention to the harder task—a letter to her.
The words to express the pain he felt at doing so didn’t exist.But he only hoped she would find the security and happiness she deserved, even if it would kill him.
Court signed over the deed to Rosewood and included it in the letter to Theodosia.Folding the missives, he placed them on his desk.He’d alert his butler to their presence so they’d be discovered after he departed.
Hurrying from his study, he sought his valet, Jenkins.
“We’re leaving.Now,” Court barked, his voice rough with suppressed emotion.
“But, my lord, it’s the middle of the night,” his valet protested, confusion etched on his face.
“I’m well aware of the hour,” Court snapped, not breaking his stride.“Ready the carriage.We shall send for my things at a later time.We depart within a quarter hour.”He didn’t wish for Jenkins to awaken Theodosia, so he’d leave with only the clothes on his back.
Jenkins hesitated for a moment and then hastened to comply.Court paced the foyer, his mind a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts and emotions.
“This is for the best,” he muttered to himself, running a hand through his disheveled hair.He was doing the right thing in leaving before she formed a deeper attachment to him.She deserved to have someone who was worthy of her.
The sound of horse hooves coming from outside pulled him from his tortured thoughts.The carriage awaited, ready to bear him away from the only woman he had ever truly loved.
With a heavy heart, Court climbed into the carriage, his valet climbing in next and securing the door behind him.As the horses surged forward, carrying him into the night, he couldn’t help but glance back at Rosewood, where Theodosia lay sleeping inside, unaware of what was happening.
“Forgive me, Tess,” he whispered.
And with that, Court disappeared into the darkness, heartbroken and alone.
Chapter 12
