Page 44 of Anywhere with You
I shrugged, twirling my purple hair around my fingers with one hand on the wheel. “We have enough money. We…had. I’m too scared to think about what’s going to happen when all this is official. To the shop, I mean. And to Florence and Doug.”
I didn’t remind her that I meant it literally, that I hadn’t had the guts to open the envelope, as though I could just keep delaying my failure, the end of my dream.
I don’t know when Cara started recording me, but when she showed me later, I agreed to let her post it. I wasn’t above a pity sale or two.
Florence and Doug would be okay. I’d make sure of it. I’d tell them to start looking for new jobs the minute I got home. They deserved to have time to find something they wanted, and if the store held on for a few more months, then I’d take what time I had.
I’d have to start working on my résumé, too, I realized. It was long out of date. Maybe I wouldn’t have to go back to accounting right away. Maybe I could find a job at stupid Guitar Center. Maybe I’d go back to school and…do what? It wasn’t as though I wanted a career change. I was doing what I wanted to do. I just wasn’t succeeding.
Cara was still talking, and I answered her absently. I’d done such a good job of setting aside my worries and enjoying this trip. I had a talent for denial. But at some point, I was going to have to form a real plan.
Eventually, Cara gave up on trying to get my attention, and we listened to my playlist, interrupted now and then by Sir David Attenborough telling us to “keep right.”
Chapter Eighteen
We reached the Grand Canyon by midafternoon. We passed the East Entrance, the parking lot so full that dozens of cars were idling, waiting for even a chance to park.
“There are other lookouts, right?” I asked. “I don’t care about the gift shop and all that, do you?”
“No. Let’s just drive awhile and see if there’s a place to pull over.”
There were several places to pull over, all of them packed.
Cara stared out the window. “I guess we’re not the only ones on spring break after all.”
“Honestly, the view from here is so amazing. I almost don’t care,” I said, even though I was the one driving.
Layers of orange and red and brown stretched down and away from us, feeling endless.
The road seemed to lead away from the canyon for miles, but just when I was about to suggest we reroute, the trees ended, and our view of the canyon opened up again, even more vast and lovely.
There wasn’t a real parking lot here, only a gravel space with enough room for Cara’s car, but there was no one else around, and we didn’t dare miss our chance. I pulled over, and we both clambered out of the car and as close to the edge of the canyon as we dared. There were no railings here, nothing but the two of us and this natural wonder laid out before us.
“Honestly, I just expected a big hole,” I said.
Cara laughed, and I could hear it faintly echoing off the ancient walls.
We recorded our reels and took pictures for Cara to add to theMesmio she’d made for us. We pretended to skip rocks over the canyon and shouted stupid words to hear the echo. I convinced Cara to sit next to me with our feet hanging over the edge.
“Just look,” I told her, when she seemed too tense to notice anything but her own fear. “Here we are, and all of that, all of those ancient rocks, all that history, is right under our feet.” I wiggled mine, and she looked out with me, past our toes to what felt like the entire world, certainly more of it than we’d ever seen. Miles upon miles. Eons upon eons.
“Hey,” Cara said, pointing.
I squinted to see. There were people riding horses along a trail in the distance.
“Next time,” I joked.
Shadows of clouds crossed below, moving like ripples over the uneven rock formations.
It was quiet except for the wind, and the rocks gave off a fresh, somehow warm smell.
“Thank you for coming with me,” Cara said.
We’d moved back from the edge now and sat cross-legged on a large slab of rock free of the spindly bushes gripping the few places where soil remained.
“I know you had your own reasons for wanting to get away,” she went on, and I thought about the unopened envelope on my desk again, feeling the twinge of anxiousness that never seemed to go away.
Cara pulled me back out of my thoughts, back to the majesty of what lay out before us.
