Page 90 of Anywhere with You
I’d thought that she would be okay, and I was right. She was fine. She was happy.
But I’d also thought the same about me, that my life would be okay, with or without her.
And I was wrong.
The thought was staggering.
I was wrong.
I’d been so wrong. I’d misunderstood my own heart so completely that I was still standing at my own apartment door, my hands clenched, my heart pounding, my eyes filling with tears.
Would she even want me? Could I take the risk and ask her, or would it be better not to even try?
I put my hands against the door, then my forehead.
And I remembered her at White Sands, running past me, laughing, on her way back up to the top. I remembered her making ridiculous poses with alien mannequins, walking in awe through the cave dwellings, sitting as close to the edge of the Grand Canyon as she dared.
I remembered her at the hot springs, oh how I remembered her there, rivulets of water running down her skin, and the way she’d stepped toward me in the dark and kissed me: the most beautiful woman, the most romantic place, the most sensuous kiss of my life.
My Cara. I had fallen in love with her so deeply, so completely, that I might never find my way out again.
And now that I knew I loved her, the risk of saying the wrong thing seemed so much worse than staying silent. I had to tell her, and I had to do it before the fear caught up to me.
I took another deep breath.
And I opened the door.
Chapter Thirty-eight
Cara stood in the hallway outside my apartment, her face flushed.
I smashed right into her, nose to nose, boob to boob.
“Ow,” she said, putting her hand to her face.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” I said, reaching out as though I was going to pat her boobs apologetically. She swatted me away, laughing.
“Were you—” she asked.
I asked, “Why—?”
We both stopped, touching our own noses, and laughed.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
Her hand fell away from her face as she tried to stop giggling. “I’m okay. Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I said, taking a step closer to her, looking at her beautiful hair, her lovely face, allowing myself to look and be caught looking.
“Come back inside,” I whispered. “Please.” I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but she was still here with me. She hadn’t left earlier, and she wasn’t leaving now. I needed to know why before my own words spilled out and trampled hers.
Her smile faded. She blinked quickly, her eyes wet.
“No,” she whispered back, but she took my hand. “Not until I tell you. If I move from this spot without telling you, I know I’ll lose my courage, and I have to…I have to say it.”
I nodded, scared to speak. She looked so serious that I had no doubts about what she was about to tell me. She’d say it was too hard to be friends. She’d say that she tried, but it wouldn’t work. She’d say that all her friends and family thought it was weird that she’d already spent so much time with her soon-to-be ex-husband’s new girlfriend’s soon-to-be ex-wife.
She took a deep breath and looked into my eyes.
