Page 17 of Under The Cherry Blossoms
Was I though? My inability to trust in Ben’s love made me feel broken. He has never given me one reason to doubt him, so why do I find it so hard to believe he could loveme?
Cassidy comes over and sits down next to me, taking hold of my hand and looking me straight in theeye.
“You need to cut this shit out, Balls. I love you, but you are not going to wake up one day and magically be over all of these bullshit hang ups you’ve been holding on to since your dad left. I don’t know if that’s what you’re waiting for, but it’s never going to happen like that. The only way to move forward, is to just move forward. Be scared. Be fuckingterrified. But be brave enough to still go for it. Ben deserves that. Fuck,youdeservethat.”
Wyatt leans into me and places her head on myshoulder.
“Skye, please don’t let your fear rule you. You could miss out on a lifetime of happiness because you’re scared of one moment of pain. If it’s real, if it’s honest and true, youwillwork through those moments. They’ll be tiny insignificant blips. But the happiness? Sweetie, the happiness will bring you to your knees, and will make every blip worth it.” Wyatt’s voice wavers slightly and I can feel a quiet pain emanating fromher.
Looking between my two best friends, I remember Ben’s face as he said those words to me. He is in this, he is in one hundred percent, and he has been from the beginning. It’s time I man up and go all intoo.
Draining the last of my cocktail, I hold my empty glass up and say, “Right, one more and then I’m going home. I have something I need todo.”
Buzzing up to Ben’s apartment, my heart hammers in my chest. I sent him a text earlier so I know he’s home. Hearing his voice on the intercom telling me to come up, my heart rate kicks up even further, if that’s possible. The elevator ride to his seventh-floor apartment is the longest three minutes of my life, but then suddenly I am standing in front of his door and ringing the bell. He pulls the door open wearing only a pair of black boxer briefs, but before I can get distracted by the vision in front of me, I throw my arms around his neck and place a luscious kiss on his mouth. Pulling back, I look him directly in the eye so he can feel the absolute certainty of what I’m about tosay.
“I love you,Ben.”
A slow, lazy smile spreads across hisface.
“I know, Squeak. I was just waiting for you to figure itout.”
BEN:Baby, youthere?
SKYE:Yep.
BEN:Meet me at the entrance to the Botanical Gardens in an hourokay?
SKYE:Are we having apicnic?
BEN:Squeak, just meet me there okay, noquestions.
SKYE:Ugh.
SKYE:Okay.
He’s late. Okay only five minutes, but still. Yesterday was our six-month anniversary and Ben had warned me to be ready for a surprise today. One problem though, I hate surprises and had been trying to weasel information out of him since the moment he told me, much to hischagrin.
Suddenly, I am lifted off my feet from behind, held up by strong arms and my favorite face in the whole world is nuzzling into my neck, peppering it withkisses.
“Sorry I’m late, baby, traffic was shit. Youready?”
“Am I ready? Ready for what?” Turning around and taking hold of Ben’s face with both my hands, I pull him down to my level. “Tell me! I need toknow!”
This elicits a loud laugh from him and grabbing my hand in his, his only response is, “Patience, Squeak,patience.”
Guiding me to the street, I enjoy the sensation of my hand in his. One thing I’ve learned about Ben is that he is fond of the PDA’s and is constantly touching me. I’m not going to lie, I love it. Growing up, neither of my parents were particularly affectionate, so I wasn’t the most tactile person. But every time Ben touches me, it ignites something and I cravemore.
Reaching the street, I find he has a cab waiting and we clamber into it, our hands never disconnecting. The taxi takes off without waiting for directions and I figure Ben has already filled him in on our destination. There goes my chance at aclue.
Ben begins chatting away, and I try to follow but my attention is firmly on the streets outside, hoping to scope out where we areheaded.
“Skye!” My attention quickly focuses back on the man sitting next to me when I hear the exasperation in hisvoice.
“What?” I respondinnocently.
“This is really bothering you, isn’t it? Not knowing where we’regoing?”
“I’m sorry!” I hide my face in his shoulder in embarrassment. “I know you’re trying to do something really sweet but the not knowing is killing me.” Removing my face from the warmth of his body, I look him sadly in the eye. “I’m a terrible girlfriend, aren’tI?”
