Page 23 of Under The Cherry Blossoms
Skylah.The use of my full name is like a punch to the stomach. I don’t think he’s ever used it. Skye, Squeak, Baby, Babe. Those are my names. NotSkylah.
“What do you mean?” I question, my voice losing any trace ofexcitement.
“What the fuck are you talking about? Is this some kind of fucked up joke?” he questions, brandishing the mugaggressively.
“I’m pregnant,” I whisper, and I watch as the color drains from his face right before myeyes.
“What?” The level of his voice matches my own, and if I wasn’t so consumed by my own fear of how this scenario is about to play out, my heart would be breaking forhim.
Suddenly his eyes shutter and it’s as though I’m staring at a stranger. “I’m not marryingyou.”
The words explode from his mouth brutally. Cruelly. And the force of them pushes me back off my knees leaving me on myass.
“Wha- I… I don’t expect you to.” I barely recognize my own voice as it strains to break free. I reach for him instinctively, seeking the comfort that his touch usually provides me, but I watch in horror as he pulls away and glares atme.
“I won’t do this again. I won’t be forced into something I never asked for. We were safe. Every. Fucking. Time. This shouldn’t havehappened.”
And suddenly my temper is ignited and I raise myself up and square my shoulders. “What exactly are you accusing me of, Ben? Because it sounds an awful lot like you’re saying I did this onpurpose.”
“If the shoe fits,” he replies with a shrug of hisshoulders.
“How exactly would I do that? Like you said, we were always safe. The condom always came from you. How exactly would I get pregnant on purpose?” My heart sinks as a thought occurs to me. “Unless you think I’m lying to you rightnow?”
His hands fly to his hair and he pulls on it, a crazed look of desperation on his face, but he doesn’t answer me. He leaves the question lingering in theair.
“Get out.” I don’t even think, I just talk. “Get out of my home right now.” For a fleeting moment I see my Ben.Mine.And the anguish radiating from his eyes just about slays me. However, it’s gone before I can even grasp its meaning. My eyes never leave his form as he throws on his clothes and stalks out of theroom.
Standing, I move slowly to the bedroom door and observe him as he makes his escape. My heart shatters as I watch him walk away. But he never looksback.
My phone buzzesfrom somewhere on the floor for the millionth time, and I cover my ears to block out the sound. I could get up and silence it, but that would require I move and honestly, that seems impossible rightnow.
The incessant buzzing continues and I curse Cassidy’s persistence. The first few messages raised my hopes. Every time I heard the small chirp from my phone, my heart pounded in anticipation, hopeful that Ben had come to his senses and was reaching out. Instead, disappointment crushed me each time I realized it was Cassidy, looking for a rundown of how this morning had gone. The sound of the phone crashing against the far wall when I throw it gives me a certain sense of satisfaction. For a second. Only for asecond.
I close my eyes tightly against the images that are playing on a loop in my mind. Ben’s eyes, and the anger that burned in them, are haunting me. Curling myself up into an even tighter ball, I can’t control the sobs that are wracking mybody.
The front door slams shut, startling me into silence as my breath catches in mythroat.
“I’m coming in so you two better not be naked in there!” Cassidy screeches at the top of her lungs and I hear loud, stomping footsteps making their way toward my bedroom. “Yep, heading to the bedroom. I’m almost there. I sure hope there’s nobody fucking inthere.”
My breath escapes in a gust of sadness and the silent tears continue as I hear the door squeak quietly as itopens.
“Shit.” The word is whispered so quietly I barely hear it, but suddenly the bed dips and I am wrapped tightly in Cassidy’sarms.
We lie like this for what feels like an eternity. I allow her to stroke my hair and soothe me, soaking up everything she is offering me until finally, I feel a tiny bit of my spirit return to mybody.
“Cass.” I raise my red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes to meet her pained ones. “He hatesme.”
“Babes, I’m sorry,” she sighs. “If it helps, I’m going to kill him. I’m seriously going to kill him hard. Like, google the most torturous methods and all kinds ofshit.”
I permit myself a small smile at that and if I wasn’t so angry I’d probably feel bad for him. Cassidy is not to be messedwith.
“What do you need? Tell me what I cando.”
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly, swiping at the tears that continue toescape.
“He accused me of trying to trap him, Cass, of trying to get him to marry me by getting pregnant.” As I admit this, I realize that’s the most painful thing of all. That someone I thought knew me, someone I thoughtcaredabout me, could accuse me of something I would never do. It’s like a punch to the heart every time I think about it. “How could he think I would dothat?”
“I’m sure he was just shocked, Skyballs, you know he would never think that if he was in his right frame of mind.” She pulls me in tighter, surrounding me with her warmth. “But that’s no excuse, and I’m still going to make a little coin purse out of his balls,” she says into the top of myhead.
