Page 24 of Under The Cherry Blossoms
I pause for a beat before whispering, “I fucking love you,Cass.”
“Language, Balls! Nobody likes a motherfucking potty mouth,” she scoffs. Feeling a small laugh bubbling up, I allow myself a brief moment of respite from the heaviness that has consumed me since the moment Ben’s eyes locked onto the bottom of that ridiculousmug.
“Okay, babes, time to woman up. Your doctor appointment is at one forty-five, right? You need to have a shower and wash the stank off and then I’ll come withyou.”
Instinctively, my head starts to shake from side to side and I’m about to argue with her when she cuts me off before I canstart.
“Don’t even try it, Skylah. We’re going. Now, are you going to get up by yourself, or do I need to help you?” Remembering the giant bruise I was left with the last time she “helped” me out of bed, I quickly scramble to my feet and head for thebathroom.
“I’m sorry, what?” my grip on Cassidy’s hand tightens as I try to make sense of what the doctor is tellingme.
“You’re not pregnant, Skye, I’m very sorry.” The sincerity shines bright in Dr. McLean’seyes.
The blood rushes to my head, pounding through my ears. It’s now all I can hear and I struggle to catch my breath as the doctor’s words hang in theair.
“Skye, babes are you okay? Skye, look at me.” Cassidy’s anxious voice reaches my ears but it sounds muffled, as if it’s floating from a long distance. My manic eyes meet hers as I lose the last bit of control over my body and I start trying to gasp in huge gulps of air. My throat is constricting and I begin to panic as I can’t seem to get enoughoxygen.
“Skye!”
Not pregnant, not pregnant. I’m notpregnant.
My glazed eyes note Cassidy kneeling in front of me. I see her hands grasping my face trying to pull my focus to her, but I can’t feelthem.
“Skye! Look at me, look at me,babes.”
I lost him for no reason. There’s no baby. I don’t even get to keep a tiny part of him.Not pregnant. Nobaby.
“Breathe, Skye, take slow deep breaths. Deep breaths, Skye.” I hear the doctor’s calm voice calling out tome.
My chest is heaving, and I’m fighting for breath when Cassidy roughly pulls my face towards her and leans her forehead againstmine.
“Balls, focus on my voice. You’re okay, just take deep breaths andcalm down.” Her voice is firm and composed, and I focus purely on that as she repeats the same words byrote.
Slowly my body becomes my own again, my breathing slows and air fills my lungs. The buzzing in my ears stops as my visionclears.
I see Cassidy, still kneeling in the same position in front of me and notice the doctor hunched over to my right, rubbing her hand over my back reassuringly. Once I have regained control, both Cassidy and the doctor return to their seats and Cass immediately reaches over, taking hold of my hand andsqueezing.
“If I’m not pregnant, why did the test come out positive?” Even I can hear the note of desperation in myvoice.
“Home pregnancy tests are generally highly reliable these days, however they’re not infallible, and false positives do sometimes occur. Most likely it was a chemicalissue.”
I nod as though I understand. As if my heart isn’t breaking. “I’m going to give you ladies a moment. Please take your time.” She stalks out of theoffice.
We sit there in silence, letting the last half hour sink infully.
“I wanted thatbaby.”
My whisper sounds loud in the quiet room and I feel warm tears trailing down mycheeks.
“I know you did,Balls.”
“I lost him for no reason.” My eyes widen in horror as realization dawns. “He’s going to think he was right, Cassidy! He’s going to think I lied about beingpregnant!”
Cassidy takes in my panicked expression calmly. “I don’t think he will, Skye. I really think when he calms down, he’s going to realize how big he fucked up, and come crawling back. Then you’ll make him suffer a bit for being the huge thundercunt he was, before forgiving him and living happily everafter.”
“And if he doesn’t?” Iask.
“If he doesn’t? Then fuck the douchedick. Fuck him hard, rough and without lube.” And with that she rises, pulling me out of my seat and linking her arm with mine as we exit the doctor’s office, without lookingback.
