Page 25 of Under The Cherry Blossoms
Ireach downand pull another book from my pile, the repetitive actions of stocking the shelves is calming me, but my movements are slow andstilted.
It’s been four days since my world imploded, and I’m still trying to make sense of what happened. I had hoped that returning to work today would provide a distraction, but I can’t seem to focus on anything but my owngrief.
I know that I need to get in touch with Ben and tell him there’s no baby. I know the longer I leave it, the worse it’s going to look, but I can’t bring myself to make the call just yet. The accusatory look in his eyes still torments me and I’m not ready to face it again. Not now, when I am mourning what feels like a very realloss.
A gentle tap on my shoulder startles me and the book I am holding slips from my grasp. Turning, I am shocked to see Mason behindme.
“Hi, Skye,” he says, giving me a small smile. “I’m sorry to ambush you like this, but I was wondering if you would have lunch with me? If you have thetime?”
I’m taken aback by his request. Hell, I’m taken aback by his very presence. One thing I’ve learned over the last six months is that Mason Alexander is a workaholic, and it’s rare to find him outside of the office. Which can only mean that this is important, and my heart picks up speed as I consider his request. My instinct is to say no. That I’m not ready to hear anything he has to say, but he is studying me with a quiet intensity and I can almost feel him willing me toaccept.
“Okay,” I say with a sigh. “Let me just tell Tanya that I’m heading out.” He nods in agreement and moves to wait by the frontdoor.
After a brief moment with my assistant manager, I join Mason, and without a word we make our way to the street outside where we are immediately swallowed up by thecrowd.
I let the noises of New York distract me; anything to avoid thinking about the conversation that is looming, as we instinctively follow the path forged by the strangers ahead ofus.
Mason stops suddenly and draws my attention to a small cafe tucked away in a quiet alley. I nod my approval, and we make our way inside. The eatery is quiet and I’m grateful for it, this is not a conversation I want to have in a loud, chaotic environment so I send a silent thank you to Mason for his consideratechoice.
We take a seat and our orders are promptly taken by a perky brunette, who I find myself silently loathing, for no other reason than her happiness makes my misery seem so much moretangible.
“So, are you his little messenger boy?” Unable to tolerate the silence any more, my voice is tinged withbitterness.
Mason looks down at his hands. A small smile plays on his lips, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. They hold onlysadness.
“No. He doesn’t know I’m here, Ipromise.”
“What are you doing here, Mason?” Iquestion.
“He’s not doing so well,” he replies quietly, and the tone of his voice causes me to flinch, but I try to hold tight to myanger.
“I didn’t do this to him, Mason, he created this shit storm,” I hiss. “Do you have any idea how excited I was to tell him about the baby? How excited I was about the future I thought we were going to have?” I stop abruptly as I feel my throat tighten and tearsthreaten.
“He was an asshole, Skye. I’m not denying that. Fuck, I’m sure that even he knows it. But I’m asking you to cut him some slack. You know what he went through with Amber, can you give him some time? Let him get his head back together? But please don’t write himoff.”
The waitress appears next to the table with our food, and an uneasy silence descends as she places my chicken salad and Mason’s roast beef sandwich in front ofus.
Once we are alone again, I allow Mason’s words to settle, and I can’t help but be reminded of Ben’s words to me,“I’m not your dad,Skye.”
“I’m not Amber, Mason. I don’t deserve to be punished for her mistakes.” I close my eyes as Ben’s face comes to mind, and I remember the anger that tainted it during our confrontation. “How could he say that? How could he believe I would do that to him?” Iwhisper.
Reaching across the table, Mason gives my hand a quick squeeze. “He doesn’t, Skye, but he’s too fucking wrapped up in his own pain to see yours. Listen, when all that shit with Amber went down, it messed him up pretty bad. He had made peace with the future he thought was being forced on him. He had somehow managed to not only be okay with it, but he was excited. He wanted that baby, and he had even convinced himself that he had a future with her.” Mason spits out the wordheras if it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. “When the truth came out, he was crushed. I’ve never seen him like that before.” He raises his eyes to meet mine. “Untilnow.”
Sliding my gaze away, I mull over his words. I know Ben loves me. Somehow throughout all of this I have held tight to that fact. I know he’s lashing out, but knowing it and accepting it are two very differentthings.
“He should have talked to me, not just run away.” My voice has regained its strength, and I talk with conviction. “He asked me to trust him, Mason, to trust his love for me. I deserve that same trust.” I push my chair back and get up toleave.
Pausing, I take in Mason’s disheartened face and try to maintain my composure. “When he’s ready to talk, I’ll listen. I’ll always hear him out. But I’m not sure I can ever forgive him forthis.”
Hurrying out of the cafe, I make it halfway back to Books & Beans before the tears start tofall.
BEN:Can I seeyou?
BEN:I need to see you,Skye.
BEN:Please.
I’m standing on the stoop to Ben’s building, trying to work up the nerve to ring his buzzer, but my body feels numb and I’m overwhelmed with anxiety. It’s been a week since I last saw him, and while I knew this meeting was inevitable, that doesn’t make it anyeasier.
