Page 27 of Under The Cherry Blossoms
He closes his eyes, but not before I glimpse the pain radiating from them, and my heart cracks with the knowledge that I am hurting him. But I need to do this. If we are to have any chance of surviving, I need to be sure I can forgive him, and he needs to be sure that he really does trustme.
This time it’s me that closes the space between us, and I place a kiss on his full mouth, attempting to soften theblow.
“I won’t lose you, Squeak. I’m not going to just giveup.”
For the first time in a week, a genuine smile lights up myface.
“Well, you wouldn’t be the man I fell in love with if you did.” I rise and head for thedoor.
“You said we.” His voice stops me in mytracks.
“What?” Iquestion.
“You said whenwewent to the doctor. Who’swe?”
“Oh, Cassidy went withme.”
“Ohshit.”
“Yeah, I suggest you wear a cup next time you see her. She’s kind of gunning for yourballs.”
A smile plays on his lips, but it doesn’t quite reach hiseyes.
“It should’ve been me with you,” he says, and the irrefutable sadness in his voice almost undoes me. “I really wish it had beenme.”
I nod my head in agreement and before he can say anything else I make myexit.
Once outside in the hall, I lean against his closed door, and as the tears escape, I whisper, “I dotoo.”
Saturday 10/7
BEN:Knock,knock.
BEN:Knock,knock.
BEN:Knock,knock.
BEN:Knock,knock.
BEN:Knock,knock.
SKYE:No one’shome.
Wednesday 10/11
BEN:Knock,knock.
BEN:Knock,knock.
BEN:Knock,knock.
SKYE:Ugh, who’sthere?
BEN:BritneySpears.
SKYE:Britney Spearswho?
BEN:Knock,knock.
