Page 23 of Breathing Wisteria
Cassidy snorts out a laugh. “Because he has a ten-inch porn star dick that I’m pretty sure belongs in the cock hall of fame. Plus, you know.” She shrugs. “You’re still in love with him.”
It’s possible, I told them too much.
“Ugh, it’s not ten inches. That would be way too much of a good thing.” I cringe. “And painful.”
Skye and Cassidy exchange a loaded look and I realize I have to put a stop to this real quick.
“No, uh-uh, there will be no looks. I am not still in love with him. That would be ridiculous and just asking for trouble.”
“Then explain why you slept with him,” Cassidy challenges.
“And why in the entire time we’ve known you, you’ve never gone out with a guy more than six times.” Et tu, Skye?
“I slept with him because—” I pause, why exactly did I sleep with him? It’s all a confusing blur of sensation and emotion.
“Yeeees?”
“Because who says no to sex? That’s crazy talk! And”—I turn to Skye—“I have absolutely gone out with men more than six times.”
“Nope. Jonathan Sterk, three years ago. You went out with him six times. You slept with him on date five and then said he was too clingy and broke it off.”
“You counted?” I can feel my face contort in horror.
“Before him, it was Mark McLean. You dumped him after five dates.” Skye is completely unapologetic.
I am acutely aware that we are not alone, that there are three people in the room with us who are most likely hanging on every word we’re saying because, well, why wouldn’t you? But when I glance at each of the women working on our feet, they appear completely uninterested.
“I—” I am not sure how to continue, that’s what I am. “Okay, you want the truth?” The need to purge myself of one of my last remaining secrets is suddenly overwhelming. I may not be able to tell them the real reason Flynn and I will never happen, but I can give them this confession. And what better place to do it than in a luxury spa, half-naked under a robe, surrounded by three complete strangers, right?
Right.
“No, we want you to feed us a line of bullshit, so we can feel good about you feeling good,” Cassidy snarks. “Get your head out of your ass, Red.”
Skye fixes me with a look of disbelief and I take a moment to both appreciate and resent my friends’ support.
The perky blonde seated at my feet, who I note, has a big smile and kind eyes, uses her knuckles to press deep into the arch of my foot, causing my head to fall back on the chair and my eyes to close in ecstasy.
“If you’re finished orgasming over there, you were about to finally share a little truth with us.”
I reluctantly open one eye and squint over at her. “You make it sound like I’m a habitual liar.” I pout.
“No, just a habitual omitter of the truth.” She sticks her tongue out at me.
“Ignore her, we completely understand why you didn’t tell us.” Skye reaches out and gives my arm a gentle squeeze. “But we want you to be honest with us. You can trust us.”
My stomach churns with the knowledge that I still haven’t been completely honest with them. That there is one secret that will always be only for me. So, I’ll give them this admission, they deserve that at least.
“I love him.” My words are confident, even when my heart is not.
“We know.”
“Cassidy!”
My laughter flows easily and does wonders for loosening the lump that was forming in my throat.
“People thought we were crazy when we eloped. Our graduating class even had a pool going on how long we’d last.” I have to bite my lip when I remember how pissed Flynn was when he found out. Right before he placed a bet on us lasting eighty years. I guess I showed him.
“But I knew I would never love anyone the way I love him, and I was right. We’ve been apart for ten years, but when I think about my heart, it’s him I think of.”
