Page 24 of Breathing Wisteria
The room is silent but for the noise of water sloshing around our feet and gentle relaxation music playing in the background. I get the unmistakable feeling that the girls tending to us are now fully invested in this conversation, but I’m beyond caring.
“Despite that, we didn’t make it. And I don’t blame him for leaving.” I inhale sharply, pushing away those unwelcome memories. “I treated him so badly, but my heart was shattered, and my soul barely survived it. Loving him almost broke me and I won’t let that happen again.”
The room is still, a shroud of unhappiness hanging over all of us and a pang of regret over that last little lie hits me deep in the gut. I would absolutely risk that heartbreak again, for him. If things were different, I would take that chance again in a heartbeat.
Anxious to ease the tension, I am about to make a joke when Skye beats me to the punch.
“I call bullshit.” She shakes her head emphatically. “You were basically a child. Everyone was totally right; you guys were too young to get married. Sure, if you hadn’t lost Carys you might still be together, and you might be rock solid and could survive anything. But back then? Neither of you had the emotional maturity to deal with your loss, let alone keep a marriage together through it.”
“Thanks for that, Dr. Phil.” Cassidy turns to me. “She’s totally right though.”
“No,” I press on confidently, the need to perpetuate the lie now obvious. “If I couldn’t make it work with him, I can’t make it work with anyone. As for him, what’s that saying about madness and doing the same thing over and over? We tried, and we failed. Trying again would be insanity.”
“You’re an idiot. I love you, but you’re being an idiot.”
“Cass, that’s not helpful,” Skye chastises before turning her attention to me. “She’s right though.”
I groan. Loudly. “You both suck.”
“Of course we do, that’s what our men love most about us.” Cassidy smirks. “But that’s beside the point. I don’t agree with you, like at all, but I do get where you’re coming from. I think you owe it to yourself to try to salvage something though, even if it’s just a friendship.” Her blue eyes narrow thoughtfully. “Nobody else will ever be able to understand what you went through, do you really want to give that up?”
I consider what she’s saying, only slightly distracted by the sensation of my heel being scrubbed to slough away the dry skin (seriously, why does that feel so good?).
“I think,” I start slowly. “That friends would be too hard to manage.” And for a moment I’m lost, remembering the days after we split in vivid detail. How I had to box away every single thing that reminded me of him, block him on social media. Even warn people not to mention him, because the tiniest reminder intensified the pain that was already too intense for me to cope with. I couldn’t believe that in less than a year my life had completely disintegrated, and the responsibility fell solely on my shoulders.
“It would just hurt too much.”
“That was fluffing amazing.” Cassidy slips back into mom-mode as we make our way to the exit.
“Soooo good. I’ve already decided that Ben can get dinner tonight and deal with the kids.” Skye sighs. “I am going to go soak in a bubble bath with a glass of wine and my Kindle.”
“That sounds perfect,” I practically moan.
“You two are boring as fudge. I’ve already made arrangements for my mom to take the kids and Mason is going to fuck me senseless. Now that is the perfect end to the perfect day.”
I roll my eyes and glance at Skye, only to stifle a laugh when I see her considering Cassidy’s suggestion.
“Miss Monroe, do you have a minute?”
I look over my shoulder to the reception desk where a different woman, who exudes the same serene air, is now working.
“We’ll wait,” Skye assures me.
“No, it’s fine, you go. I’m in the opposite direction anyway. I’ll get an Uber as soon as I’m done.”
“If you’re sure?”
“Absolutely, you go.” We indulge in a round of goodbye hugs and I accept their thank-yous for today, but they have no idea how good it was for my soul. Sometimes only your girls will do and today was most definitely one of those times.
I approach the reception desk cautiously, suddenly worried and mentally calculating my bank balance in case we incurred some charges today that weren’t covered by my prize.
“Today was incredible, I will absolutely be recommending you to everyone I can.” I infuse my voice with enthusiasm, hopeful the day isn’t about to go completely south.
“I’m so pleased to hear that.” She smiles. “As part of your prize you also won a bottle of wine, so if you wouldn’t mind accompanying me to the restaurant?”
“Oh, of course, thank you so much.”
I follow her through a wide hallway, her heels echoing on the marble floors as I take in the beautifully textured artwork lining the walls. The technique demonstrated is stunning and I am so distracted I almost run into the woman’s back when she stops suddenly in front of the closed restaurant doors.
“Right through here, Miss Monroe, they’ll take care of you inside.” With that, she turns on her heel and makes her way back the way we just came.
A little off-balance from her abrupt departure, I push through the doors eager to collect my wine and get home, only to pull up short when the last person I expected to see is standing by the bar, an impatient look on his face.
“Jesus Christ, you took your sweet-ass time, Cherry.”
