Page 19 of Dating the DILF
“God,sohot,” I agree.
A loud bang out in the hallway, followed by laughter, interrupts us and Addy rolls her eyes and mutters under her breath.
“Oh my God, is that him?” I bolt upright. “Is that your friendly neighborhood douchebag?” She pulls the bowl of M&M’s onto her lap and begins shoveling them into her mouth.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” I laugh and jump up, racing to the door to peer out the peephole. I’m too late though, and the hallway is empty.
“Get your ass back here and sit down, will ya. We were in the middle of a conversation.”
“You have complained about this guy every day since he moved in four months ago—”
“Six months. It’s been six months.”
I snatch some candy out of the bowl on her lap. “Six months then. When are you going to ask him out?”
“Uh, never. The guy’s an obnoxious ass who thinks he’s God’s gift to women.” She sits up straighter, her eyes lighting up. “Did I tell you he had the nerve to accuse me of stealing his mail as an excuse to talk to him?” Her voice is getting louder and taking on a screechy quality. “I mean, I try to do the right thing when his stupid mail was put in my box and that’s how he thanks me! Such an asshole.” She points a hand full of candy at me. “And don’t change the subject, Charlie. We were talking about Miles. Are you gonna call him Daddy?” She waggles her eyebrows at me.
“That is wrong on so many levels, how broken are you?”
“Ugh, relax. I know you’re not a daddy-kink type of girl. Although you shouldn’t knock it until you’ve tried it.”
“Why am I friends with you?”
“Because I’m the only one who will put up with you.” I keep quiet because she’s probably right. “Now, what is the plan for Miles. Please don’t tell me you’re going to dick out because of the kid? I don’t want to have to smack you.”
“No, I mean, maybe, I don’t kno—Wait, dick out?”
She sighs deeply. “Everyone says don’t pussy out but really, pussies are tough as shit. Dicks are fragile, so saying don’t dick out makes way more sense.” She shrugs as if that makes complete sense and for a moment I wonder if we’ve been friends for too long, because it kind of does.
I shake my head and try to refocus. “I don’t want kids. I never wanted kids. My job is too demanding, too time-consuming. Kids make no sense for me and it’s stupid to even consider going any further with this because it can’t possibly go anywhere now.”
“But?” Addy’s foot nudges me gently.
“It sounds ridiculous, I don’t want to say it out loud.” My hand finds my drink and I take a grateful sip.
“But you will, so you might as well just spit it out.”
“I feel at home with him.” Those words make me feel remarkably helpless. “I had my life figured out. I knew what I needed out of life to make me feel safe.” I bite my lip and the sting distracts me for a moment. “It’s not this.”
“Forget safe, Charlie.Fuck safe. Life isn’t about being safe. It’s about getting messy and taking chances andexperiencingeverything.” She scoots closer toward me and grips my calf. “I’ve watched you for the past three years. You work, you go home where you work some more, binge-watch sitcoms and sexy demons—Oh!” She turns and pauses the television which had been forgotten. “You sleep, and then you get up and do it all over again. I manage to get your ass here once a month for a girls’ night and that’s it. That’s the extent of your social life. Honestly, it’s a miracle you even met Miles!” She throws her hands up dramatically.
“That’s not true. I went to New York to visit Wyatt not long ago. And I’m going to that gala in a couple of weeks. I have a social life.” I try not to sound defensive. I fail.
“You went to New York eight months ago and the gala is a work function. That does not equate to a social life, my love. I’m sorry, just, no.”
“What would you do?”
“Me?” She sighs deeply. “I’d jump into it headfirst, kid and all. But you’re not me and that’s okay, Charlie. Being you is okay.”
Why do you always ruin everything?The memory twists deep within me.
“Right.” I snort. “You would be the only one to think so.” I turn to face her. “What should I do?”
“I think you should take it slow. Just get to know him and don’t worry about the other stuff. At least, not until you’re sure this is going somewhere.Thenyou can figure the rest out.” She tilts her head to the side. “What’s the worst that can happen?”
“I could get my heart broken,” I offer.
“Meh, no one ever died from a broken heart.” She throws an M&M at me, so I retaliate with the plump cushion from behind my back. My aim is off though and it sails over her shoulder.
