Page 39 of Dating the DILF
“Oh, please. You were looking for a reason to run. If I had told you about it, you never would have given him a chance.” She snatches some paper towels from the dispenser. “Those extra couple of weeks are the reason you were invested enough to stick with him when you found out.You’re welcome.” She tosses the towels in the trash and I start to head for the door when she stops me.
“Wait, I have a question to ask you.”
“Yes, you should go out with Grayson.”
She purses her lips and scowls. “Never gonna happen so move on.” She pauses and takes a deep breath. “So, before the show aired, Miles did a photoshoot for a magazine and he was wearing only a towel.”
I bite my lip, the memory of Miles telling me his embarrassment over that shoot vivid in my mind.
“Okay, look, there’s no polite way to ask this so I’m just going to do it. Is your boyfriend hung, because you could see the outline through that towel and it definitelylookedlike he was hung.” She pauses and I just stare at her, completely flummoxed. “Is he a big-dick Bruce, or not?” she finally spits out.
“Big-dick Bruce?” I repeat the phrase slowly, sure I misheard.
“Yeah, like Bruce Willis.”
“Bruce Willis has a big dick?” I ask, confused.
“I mean, I think he would, don’t you?”
“I—I had never thought about it.”
“Well?” she prompts and I burst out laughing.
“You are such an inappropriate human.”
“This is not news,” she replies ruefully.
“Uh, well, I mean it’s not anaconda-style, run-from-the-roomhuge, but it’s definitely bigger than any other dick I’ve encountered before, and I am slightly concerned for my jaw when I finally blow him.”
“You haven’t blown him yet?”
“Oh my God,go!” I push her toward the door.
“Fine, but I’d just like to say you’re a shitty friend for forcing me to ask the question. A real friend would have given me all the details as soon as you slept with him.”
Pushing her through the door, I bite my lip to hide my grin.
When we reach our seats again there has been some movement and Grayson is now sitting beside the aisle, leaving two vacant seats, then Lulu, then Miles, who shoots us an apologetic smile.
“He threatened to never babysit again.”
Addy huffs and flops down into the chair next to Lulu, but she is not having any of that.
“No, you move,” Lulu growls at Addy. “That’s Charlie’s seat.”
“You’re killing me, kid.” Adelaide groans.
Lulu just points to the other chair. “Move!”
Two hours later, I am laughing hysterically at Lulu’s antics as she riles up all the Chicago fans around us, cheering on her Penguins loudly and proudly. I understand what Miles was talking about now, realizing all the indulgent looks from earlier have transformed into glares of annoyance. Especially since the score is not in their favor.
On my other side, Adelaide and Grayson have been bickering nonstop. While Grayson looks like he’s having the time of his life, Addy looks ready to kill.
Him, me, I’m not sure she’s overly concerned with the details.
Something happens down on the ice, which I miss. This isn’t overly surprising since I haven’t spent much time watching the actual game. Everyone around me jumps to their feet yelling and it’s only when they all start to quiet down and take their seats again that I see one of the Pittsburgh players heading for the penalty box.
Lulu must notice at the same time because the next thing I hear is her voice yelling at the top of her lungs,“Jesus Christ, Karen!”
