Page 45 of Captive Vows
I narrowed my eyes. She wasn’t delicate, though. That invoked the impression of a dainty weakling.
“Too precious.”
“Fuck.” He laughed softly, shaking his head. “You’re getting smitten with her already?”
I scoffed. “Smitten?” I shot him a stern look. Now he was just being ridiculous.
“Listen to yourself. You think she’sprecious?”
Ah, fuck.I regretted my choice of words.
“Yeah, I can’t see you selling her now.”
“I still could.” Reinstating distance was critical now. I appreciated how she was a break in the monotony of my life, but the idea of her being a permanent source of pleasure wasn’t wise. “She’s a temptation.” One I hadn’t counted on being so intrigued about. “But nothing more.” I shrugged, feigning a disinterest I wished I could fully embrace. “Nothing more, Emil.”
It sounded less like a denial and more like a realization of the truth.
Downplaying the impact she had on me would help me in the long run. I didn’t have to feel bad for desiring her. I didn’t have to worry about wanting her and being weak for being under her spell.
After I fucked her and got her out of my system, like I could have done with any other woman on this planet, I wouldn’t be so caught up in wondering what it would be like to take her. To have her—for now.
Because it was all too clear that she wouldn’t be staying in my life forever.
16
GABRIELLA
Days passed and I practiced as much as I could. As the hours crept closer to the private audition that Luka arranged for me, I suffered through the turmoil of so many mixed feelings.
At the top of the list was nervousness—about being a keptthinghere but unworthy of being wanted and desired by Luka, the strong Alpha male who stated that he took what he wanted. Those nerves collided and twisted with the worry that I wouldn’t be ready for this preliminary test.
The only way I could combat the anxiety that kept me so tense was to dance. To practice. And to dance and practice some more.
I had a break from being in the studio to grab a light dinner one night. Maintaining a proper diet was essential for dancing this much. I’d come a long way from merely eating what was offered to keep up my strength for escaping to speaking with the cooks on staff for the ideal balanced meals I’d need for endurance to perform on stage.
Luka wasn’t there. As if I needed another reminder of how little he wanted me, he had to keep his distance from me and be too “busy” to eat with me.
Emil and Alexsei were there, though.
“Ready for the competition?” Emil asked.
He and I weren’t exactly on friendly terms. We had gotten to a point of not glaring at each other on sight, and that was probably as good as it would get.
“It’s not a competition.” I rolled my eyes.
“It’s an audition,” Alexsei confirmed. He wasn’t getting off my shit list just yet, either. He’d been there to capture me as well. While he almost seemed milder than the other violent thugs here, I wasn’t lowering my guard to think he was a good guy, either.
“How come it matters so much?” Emil asked, taking a seat at the table. Alexsei sat across from him, diagonal from me.
“The audition?” I raised my brows. “How could it not matter? If I want to get closer to being considered for Juilliard or any other decent school, I need to be judged and vetted.”
Alexsei shrugged. “I think he means why bother with ballet at all?”
I narrowed my eyes. “Because it’s what I’m passionate about.” I huffed, paying attention to my food instead of facing them. “Trust me, I’m not counting on you to understand.”
“To understand being passionate about something?” Emil taunted. “Ask the whore I took to bed last night how hot my ‘passion’ runs.”
I shook my head. “Of course you’d be vulgar like that.”
