Page 50 of Captive Vows
I couldn’t risk falling. No injuries would be welcome now.
My audition was in two days, and I surely had no business exercising like this. The first couple of steps I took sharply reminded me of precisely how Luka had touched me. How he’d proven to be a master of me in a way no other man had.
No one had ever touched me like that. Hell, besides a couple of little kisses, no man had ever kissed me like that, either.
Now, I knew what he meant when he said he’d take what he wanted. Clearly, he’d wanted me. Just not enough to linger and get something in return.
Why?
Why would he leave me like this?
Does he think I can’t handle him? That I can’t repay the favor?
I’d never done anything with a man before, so perhaps he was right to guess how ignorant I was. That didn’t mean I wouldn’t teach myself. That I wouldn’t figure it out and pay attention to his cues.
Feeling cheated and rejected, I shook my head and grabbed my panties. Bunching them in my hand, I turned off the lights to the studio and left. There was no point in hanging out here. My concentration was shot. Those former worries about whether my commitment to ballet was trivial were forgotten. As I walked to my room, the only thing on my mind was that I’d crossed a boundary with my captor. The fine lines of resistance wereblurring where Luka was involved, and I couldn’t be sure if I was forfeiting or adapting to my new reality.
I slowed down as I passed his room. Both doors were closed, as they always were. I had yet to even peek inside his personal quarters, but I wondered now what he was doing in there. His erection had to be tended to. That furious need in his eyes had to be dealt with.
Is he in there… doing that?
I sighed, shaking my head at how forbidden it seemed to even think about him pleasuring himself. Or why he’d choose that route instead of being with me in the studio.
Come on. Stop. Think about what you’re suggesting. Losing your virginity? To him?
This was nonsense. Or it was supposed to be. He wasn’t supposed to be the one to make that spark of interest flare this hotly inside me. He wasn’t supposed to be the man to make me feel so alive and needy.
I showered and went to bed, restless with the flashbacks of how he’d pleasured me. When I woke up the next day, he was the first thing on my mind.
Throughout the day, I waited for him to approach me. To offer me guidance of how it would be now. Of what to expect next.
He didn’t. Not once did he come to me. To talk to me, to check on me. To even look at me. That distance was between us again. A couple of texts gave me the hint that he wouldn’t be available, busy with work. Allen, the ever-present butler-like assistant, told me not to expect him home any time soon.
I hated it, but I got the message.
Luka had taken what he wanted—my submission in that orgasm.
And that was all he’d wanted.
Instead of dwelling on his reaction to being intimate with me at all, to showing me how I “inspired” him, I put all my energy into preparing for the audition. Luka could do this hot-and-cold, close-and-far routine all he wanted. I wished I could know why he’d go to such extremes to kidnap me and keep me locked up here and within his convenient reach when he’d just avoid me again.
Every time I tried to analyze and wonder why he’d play with me like this, I doubled down on practicing and prepping for my audition.
Still, he was there, lurking in the back of my mind. Shame grew as I realized he’d spurned this newfound lust and interest that I couldn’t turn off. The more he stayed away, the more I wanted to experience that sensual danger of letting him kiss and touch me again.
Focus on what matters.
I wanted to. Trapped here, I was given so many things I couldn’t take for granted. He’d built me a studio. He provided instructors. He’d secured aprivateaudition. I had no clue how many strings he’d had to have pulled to make that happen. Those were all gifts I’d never receive otherwise, so when I put it in perspective like that, I struggled not to feel selfish to wanthimwhen he’d already given me other things to bring my dreams closer to coming true.
On the night of the audition, I felt like a wreck. Mentally, I was a mess. Physically, I was ready and primed to impress. Any time my mind wandered and I was more prone to thinking about him, I rehearsed my steps in my mind. I walked through the music and moves I’d need to complete.
“Ah,” I quipped as Emil escorted me to a car. This was the first time I’d been outside in almost two months, reduced to viewing the outside world only through windows. “Free at last.”
He rolled his eyes as he held the door to a car open for me. “You’re not going anywhere yet.”
Thatyetshould’ve intimidated me. With how nervous I was about the audition, I couldn’t multitask and worry about my future with these Dubinin men.
“You know, I understand what you were saying the other day.” I tipped my chin up, studying this killer. That was how they all referred to him—the assassin. “When you mocked me for wanting to be a dancer and go through this audition at all.”
