Page 52 of Captive Vows
“Besides, if you run, I will find you and bring you back.”
I grimaced, so sick of this confusion he doled out on me. “Why?” Before he could reply, I kept going, letting out this frustration he instigated in me. “If I’m a possession, just a thing for you to own, why treat me like this? Why would you tease me and lead me?” I swallowed hard, finally relieved to speak my mind after days of not seeing him. “Why would you… pleasure me like that?”
He shook his head, furrowing his brow like he was disappointed or annoyed with me. “Stop. Stop this. Focus on your audition. Not me.”
“But—”
He held his hand up. “This is time to concentrate. Don’t think about me or what is going on between us.”
I wanted to scream.
It wasn’t as though I wanted to be attracted to him.
It wasn’t a matter of choosing to think about him.
I just did.
He was always there, in my mind and my memories.
I was desperate to know if there even was anything going on between us.
“Don’t, Gabriella. Shut it down andfocus.”
Blinking at him slowly, I let his harsh words sink in. He wasn’t dismissing me or trying to downplay his actions. He waslecturing, he was commanding. And he was right. This wasn’t the time to be stuck in my head. This was go-time. This was the moment to ride the determination to succeed.
And I would. I resolved to heed his advice. As I sobered up and nodded at him, I turned to gaze out the window instead of pushing this issue with him. Maybe he’d never answer me. Perhaps he intended to keep me confused and on the edge of this dance of desire for him.
Deep down, as the sleek black car brought me closer to the building where I’d perform in a private audition, I appreciated that Luka could be so tough like that. To be so strict and harsh and steer me back to where I needed to be.
I was grateful to have him tell me to focus on what I cared about.
My dad never did.
No one had ever supported me or given me a pep talk like that. It seemed cruelly ironic that the man who’d taken me would be the one to encourage me.
All these weeks I’d been stuck in his house, I wanted the freedom to dream and prioritize about what I wanted out of life. Secretly, though, I had to admit that I wantedhim. More than I had any right to.
19
LUKA
Keeping away from Gabriella was supposed to have served two purposes.
First and foremost, I needed that step back to cool it. After making her come in the studio, going down on her like she was the feast I’d been waiting my whole life for, I knew that more distance was smart. She tempted me. She taunted me. Walking out of that studio with her taste lingering on my tongue wasn’t easy. But this would be better in the long run.
I couldn’t let her become too familiar. I couldn’t permitmyselfto be that familiar with her yet. Once that happened and it was the same old, the allure of having her in my home would fade. I wasn’t ready to return to that nothingness of boredom and only having work to preoccupy me.
Secondly, I had to give her a chance to focus on what she wanted. Oh, there was no doubt at all that she wanted me. I bet she’d sat there stumped and miffed, put off by how I’d walked out of that studio room without a word or another glance.
Maybe she felt rejected. Used and discarded. That couldn’t be further from the truth, but so long as she assumed such, she would be free to concentrate on her rehearsal and practice. Withthis all-important audition coming up, she didn’t need to be distracted by me, by wanting me.
Her dream was to dance. To be on stage. To perform in the art of ballet.
Iwasn’t her dream.
I couldn’t be when I wasn’t sure if she’d even stay in my life for long.
Crossing my arms, I shifted my weight on my feet as I stuck to the back of the room. Ivan stood next to me, also watching her on the stage. Other Dubinin men were stationed throughout the building. Several others were posted outside, to surround the theater. Even though she’d asked—sarcastically—about my letting her out of the confines of my fortress of a home, I had no worries that she would run.
