Page 68 of Captive Vows
He wouldn’t love me.
The longer I waited for him to come home from another lengthy night of him delivering violence and justice as he saw fit, I knew that much.
He didn’t love me.
Lusted for me, yes.
Desired me in his bed, of course.
But love wasn’t a part of what we shared. Since the moment I arrived here, he’d emphasized that I was athing, his thing. Here to be owned.
Not loved.
25
LUKA
The biggest sign that I was torn in two was the guilt that came to me when I was busy in the office. Those moments when I was out with the men and I’d think about Gabriella. It didn’t matter what time of the day or night it was. She was creeping into my thoughts nonstop.
I wanted her.
I lusted for her.
And with how difficult it was to shut off this need to be near her, to feel her warm, silky skin rubbing against mine or her lips pressing with demand on mine, I was addicted to having her in my life.
Emil ceased to give me shit about it. He seemed smug in knowing I’d found “my match”. Ivan didn’t comment either. At times, I had to wonder if he was jealous of my finding a woman to possess and concentrate on like this. He’d had the sorriest story of us all, losing his former love, but there wasn’t anything I could do to convince him to seek her out. He had already tried to find the woman he’d walked away from, but she was hiding too well for him to locate. Alexsei, too, reacted to how connectedI was with Gabriella. He was the most welcoming of the men, already that quick to assume that she fit with us.
Yet, as time drew on and I became busier with the fucking Cartel and Italians, both of those enemies never content to allow any semblance of peace, I hated how my duties kept me from spending time with Gabriella.
While I always made sure to end up in bed with her after even the longest days and nights, it didn’t feel like a boring routine. It wasn’t the same old because every kiss and every touch was better than the last. It was a consistent exploration of learning about her, and I never wanted it to stop.
Being this attuned to her also gave me an immediate heads up when something seemed off.
She was distant. It started with slight signs of her pulling away. At first, I chalked it up to her being grumpy that I was so busy lately, always away and doing the leadership tasks expected of me as thePakhanof the family. She was still with me, still in bed with me, still eager to take my dick. I hadn’t scared her off, but the suspicion that something was wrong lurked beneath the surface. It was enough to caution me that I would do better to balance my time with the family and with her. Those seemed exclusive and apart, but I wondered how different things would be—for the better—if I simply made her part of the family.
Like my son and nephews had hinted, it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I took her for a wife. If I made it official that she wasmine, publicly.
Besides, it was already a given that she was. Otherwise, those Cartel fuckers wouldn’t have targeted her at her audition. She was viewed as mine. She did fall under the blanket of Dubinin protection.
Waking up with her this morning, I was annoyed to find her sleeping on the edge of the bed. Shewaspulling away. But that didn’t mean I had to throw her a bone and offer her morecommitment. I took. That wouldn’t change. I was the boss. I would always be in charge. She didn’t dictate the terms between us, but as I urged her to roll toward me, I marveled at how I wanted her to be happy with me like this.
“How about I take you out for lunch?” I asked between kisses I placed on her bare shoulder.
She smiled, slowly and lazily. “Lunch? Isn’t it still morning?”
“Brunch, then.” I tugged her out of bed with me, determined that taking her on a little outing would smooth out any issues that might have been the cause for this distance between us.
Instead of staying close to the mansion, I had the driver bring us to one of the properties the family owned near the water. Coastal land was significant in our portfolio for many reasons, namely the ease of transportation for goods. This resort was a newer acquisition, though, a ritzy, five-star destination where celebrities and politicians rubbed elbows and tried to avoid the public’s eye.
After we ate, I led her to the balcony of the penthouse suite. Even though the sky was still stormy, it wasn’t raining yet and we could admire the view of the ocean and the city not far from this area.
“I’m surprised you don’t need to hurry back to the office,” she admitted softly as she stood at the railing. With her hands on the ledge, her legs crossed at the ankles, she presented herself as at ease and relaxed. We’d talked throughout our brunch and she hadn’t seemed as standoffish or distant. Now, she seemed open to caving to me and welcoming my company again.
Fuck, maybe it’s all in my head and nothing is wrong.
Women can be like that. Hormones and all. Whatever.
I approached her from behind, pressing my chest against her back. She reacted with a sigh as she leaned back toward me. Resting her head on my shoulder, she seemed to curl into my embrace. Starting with my hands on top of hers, I caressed upher arms, then traced my fingers down her breasts until I could hug her snugly to me.
