Page 70 of Captive Vows
However, in the back of my mind, I knew how wrong he was too.
We could enjoy this moment. Living in the present had always seemed like such a stupid, illogical line of advice. With him, I tried to. Focusing only on how good he felt rutting me like this, high up on a balcony in the open air before a storm would crash down on us, I felt like I was the star in an epic adventure, at the top of the world. Physically, he could commandeer my thoughts until they ceased to bother me. He could distract me like this.
Yet, as he withdrew then cleaned me up, wiping me gently, I had to return to earth.
The present was fine.
But it was the future that consumed my worries.
I had Luka right now, here, as a sexy, sinful lover.
What would he be tomorrow? What would he be in approximately six and a half more months when I’d probably be ready to have this baby?
Would he be with me, excited to be a father again?
Would he order me to get rid of him or her?
Or would I be gone, too scared to trust his reaction or the chance of raising this innocent new life in the grip and context of all that came with a violent criminal family?
Hanging my head as I pulled my bra and shirt back up and together, I wrestled with the need to come clean and just tell him. To be brave and simply confess.
Luka, I’m pregnant. I’m not giving this baby up.
Take it or leave it.
Rehearsing those bold lines in my head threatened a panic attack.
Hey, Luka? What would you think about my being a mother? I’ll handle it all and go.
Thinking along that path didn’t make me feel any better. For one, I doubted he’d just release me. He’d made it crystal clear that I was his until he saw no worth left in me. Secondly, I didn’twantto leave him. I wanted to stay and bask in the comfort and security he offered me. I only wished to know if I could have him but not dread my child being shipped away to be a soldier or a token in a trade.
“Come in before it rains,” he said, reaching for my hand. “Unless you’d rather shower out here with the storm.”
I smiled slightly at his sarcasm, following him inside so we could shower together. He never failed to care for me and comfort me in a warm, steamy stall until we’d both be tempted to start round two of more intimacy.
Before I fully entered the penthouse, this extravagant and expensive floor I never could’ve imagined setting foot in with my previous life as a nobody, his phone rang.
He sighed, perhaps daunted by how he’d be in demand already. No breaks for the boss.
Without letting go of my hand, he extracted his phone from his pocket and answered. “Yes?”
I couldn’t hear the other line, but whoever the caller was, they spoke loudly and with urgency. It was an urgency that transferred to Luka. I felt the tension in him right away. His fingers tightened on mine. His knuckles turned whiter as he gripped his phone and held it close to his ear. Those dark eyes narrowed. Anger lit the glitter of power in his gaze, but it wasn’t a fury directed at me.
“We’re leaving now,” he growled after a few more seconds of listening to the caller.
Something was up.
Or something was going down.
I didn’t know and I didn’t want to, preferring to mind my own business as I lived in the world of these criminals.
“Yes,” he said into the phone before disconnecting in a hurry. Staring at me as he led me toward the front door, he explained what I could already guess. “We need to go. Now.”
I nodded, but I doubted he even registered my agreement. He had already turned to face forward, practically dragging me out of the penthouse and racing toward the elevator. A pair of Dubinin soldiers were standing out there, always ready to protect the boss. They, too, must have heard the same urgent news in the comms units they wore in their ears. No confusion showed in their serious expressions as they flanked us toward the elevator.
“Go down in the freight,” Luka said as the metal panels slid open. “Petyr said they’re surrounding the building on the west side.”
Both men seemed hesitant to leave the boss, but they nodded anyway.
