Page 81 of Captive Vows
But when Gabriella shook her head before spinning on her heel to stride out of the room, I couldn’t help but feel dejected. Despair claimed me as she walked away.
30
GABRIELLA
Ileft the dining room as fast as I could, too furious to see what was in front of me. Red-hot rage filled my vision.
“Whoa.”
I collided with Emil. He caught me from falling, but once I was steady on my feet again, I pushed past him.
“Hey. Wait. What the fuck?” He hurried after me as I headed toward the studio.
It was the only place I could try to find some remnant of peace. Dance was still in my blood. It was still my passion. As this baby grew in my belly, though, the upcoming prospect of being a mother became a bigger passion and goal.
Just this morning, I gave up. I had to quit and call it a defeat. Being pregnant wasn’t for the fainthearted. It wasn’t for ballerinas, either. Between my swollen feet and the sciatic nerve pain that increased with lightning crotch as my belly got bigger and bigger, I just couldn’t do it anymore.
I wasn’t throwing the towel in forever. I couldn’t. I would lose my mind if I never danced again. But for now, I was smart enough to know I was setting myself up for the risk of an injuryto continue with my sport like this. The very last thing I ever wanted to do was harm this precious life inside me.
Although I couldn’t dance in the studio where no one came to bother me, I could sit there and gaze out the windows at the cityscape below. Like a caged animal or a bird with clipped wings, I could look out at the freedom that would never be mine.
I wasn’t stupid enough to try to run away. I wouldn’t get free healthcare for my baby if I did. But deep down, I refused to budge from the conviction that this baby wouldnotbe a Mafia child.
“Hey!” Emil chased after me, following me all the way to the studio. “What the fuck, Gabby?”
He was the only one who had started to call me that on a routine basis. And I hated it. I figured that was precisely why he shortened my name like that, like a brother taunting a sister. But no, I was carryinghisbrother or sister even though I was younger than him.
“No.” I whirled on him as I reached the studio. “That’s what I should be asking you.” I jabbed my finger at his chest. “What the fuck wasthatfor, tricking us to get us in the same room?”
He rolled his eyes, unbothered by my attitude. “It’s getting old, that’s what the fuck it’s about. We’re sick of him acting like he’s miserable missing you. We’re all fed up with you acting like a quiet ticking bomb of wild pregnant woman hormones and emotions, like any little thing could make you lash out becauseyoumiss him.” He flung his arms up. “You live together.”
“No.” I pointed at him. “I’m a guest. A thing. I’m trapped and locked up here.”
He crossed his arms, smirking at me. “I don’t see you suffering.”
But I was. I was just good at masking it. It broke my heart a little more every day that Luka stayed away from me. Yes, we’d had an epic fight about my hiding the pregnancy. Thatwas months ago, though. This baby would be here soon, and he hadn’t done a single thing to alleviate my concerns.
“I’m not going to argue with you.” I turned down the dial on my anger and gave him my back. Staring out at the cityscape didn’t feel as soothing as I wished it would.
“Then don’t,” he replied coolly, coming to stand next to me, looking out the wall of windows. “But seriously, what the fuck, Gabby? You both were so good together, and now it’s like you can’t stand him.”
I heaved in a deep breath. “I can’t stand how he views me. He just told me that I have more worth since I gave him an heir.”
“Well, that’s true.” He shrugged. “Another heir is an investment in the future of the family.”
I hung my head briefly and groaned. “I’m having ababy, not a token of an investment.” Before he could argue any further, I held my hand up, too numb to care about anything anymore. That didn’t mean I’d give up with this fight, but I was just so tired of it all. My life was a huge mess, one that hadn’t gotten messy from anything of my doing. Because I existed, because I was Miguel Lopez’s daughter and he was stupid enough to be a traitor to Luka Dubinin, I was in this mess.
“I’m so sick of feeling trapped. I was used.” And more than anything, I hated how I was starting to fully see that Luka had never cared about me. It was all lies.
“He didn’t use you. For fuck’s sake…” He shook his head. “My father was just saying that to piss you off. Trust me. It’s his style. He respects how strong you are, how long it took for you to cave to him. He wanted to crack you for so long, and he admired your tenacity. If I know him, and I think I’m one of the few who can claim to really know him, he’s goading you and saying shit like that to make you mad.” He locked his bored and smug gaze on me. “To piss you off even more to make you snap.”
“I’m not buying it.”
“Hey, I’m just telling it like it is. I never thought I’d meet someone as stubborn as him, but here you are. He’s determined to dig his feet in just as much as you are. He’s keeping up this distance because he wants you to be the first to apologize. He’s a proud man. A powerful leader. So don’t assume he’ll bow toyou. Or anyone.”
“No.” I shook my head, sad that what he was saying couldn’t be true. “You’re wrong. He sees me as a possession to set aside while I carry his child. A person he’s determined to view only as a thing to use.”
“Like me?”
