Page 6 of Run, Run Rudolph
“How? By running him over again? Where did you learn how to drive?” the elf sniped at me. “Did you get your license from a crackerjack box?”
“As a matter of fact, yes.” I slammed my car door and whirled on the elf, causing him to take a step back.
That’s what I thought. Tough, but most of it was bluster.
“I almost ate it. Good thing I didn’t.”
Moving around to the trunk, I tried to tune out the elf’s constant stream of abuse, focusing instead on the things I could do to help Rudolph. I had a blanket and a First Aid kit which had been pushed onto me by my mom years ago as part of my car’s winter safety kit. She’d even found one in the tones she believed my future wedding theme colours would be—teal and black. Yes, she was stuck in the nineties. As well as on the dream that I’d soon marry, even though at the moment I felt terminally single.
With shaking hands, I pulled out the kit, blanket, and a lantern I’d forgotten about, leaving the trunk open. The elf was starting to get under my skin, his unrelenting verbal assault reminding me a bit of Kade.
Kade hadn’t been a bad boyfriend, or emotionally abusive by any extent, but he had a stubborn persistence, making it impossible for him to let something go. Such as my introverted side. He was the life of the party, whereas I leaned more toward enjoying a night in. He felt that if I just stepped outside of my comfort zone, I’d soon realize that I loved being social.
Without a doubt, he didn’t understand why I wanted to live in the boring country all alone. And yeah. Occasionally, it was lonely. But I knew where to find people when I felt like socializing.
I appreciated the way Kade had always encouraged me to get out more and to try new things back in high school. I’d needed that push, and he’d prompted me to step out of my comfort zone and to follow my heart a bit more. Although, in the end, Kade had exhausted me by wanting me to be more outgoing like he was, and to go out more, make more friends, join more clubs, and have more parties.
I now understood that changing someone to be more like yourself wasn’t how a good relationship worked. Same with trying to be someone you weren’t.
Despite the insights I’d earned by dating the man, it still didn’t mean that being hounded hadn’t become a hot button issue for me.
“What is Santa going to do now that you’ve hit Rudy?” the elf continued. “Huh? Do you know how important Rudolph is? Do you? I bet you do!” The elf had stepped right up, practically toe to toe with me. Now that he was wound up again, his lack of a height disadvantage didn’t seem to impact his confidence one iota.
I peered into the dark night, down the empty road at the blinking red nose, wondering if the elf would let me near the reindeer.
Sure enough, whenever I tried to sidestep the elf to move toward Rudolph, he blocked me.
“You’re going on the naughty list. Forever! You just ruined Christmas for every child in the world! We’re all trying to save Christmas, and here you are ruining it all!”
“Look. Can you help or not?”
He’d backed me toward the trunk again, and the idea of Christmas being in limbo, and us just standing here while he verbally assaulted me, was really starting to steam my muffins. It felt like the final weeks of my relationship with Kade when he’d go on and on about all the ways we were no longer a perfect couple. Probably because the last thing I wanted to be was his version of ‘perfect.’
“I really love Christmas,” I said, thinking about how the holiday had pulled me out of a deep funk when I was thirteen, “and want to help Rudolph.” The idea of the holiday now being in limbo had me itching to make things right again.
“I really love Christmas,” the elf mimicked. “Especially ruining it! Mrs. Claus is going to kick your?—”
Without thinking, I shoved the elf. His butt and back hit the bumper, and he tumbled backward, his torso and arms landing over my trunk’s threshold as he gave a dramatic flail. I grabbed his legs, lifting them, finishing the job of dropping him inside, then slammed the trunk shut.
I gasped and stepped back.
Santa’s elf was yelling, his feet kicking from inside my car.
“You’re a tootie-fruitie, no-good, rotten sugar plum!” he shouted, his voice muffled.
I froze halfway to the trunk’s release button. On second thought, maybe he could keep himself occupied searching for the trunk’s emergency release, a glow-in-the-dark handle, while I checked on Rudolph.
“You’re a frozen polar bear turd!” he screamed. “You smell like a reindeer fart! Mrs. Claus is going to freeze you into a giant ice sculpture and all the dogs will pee on it!”
Not only was he short like a kindergartener, his insults were at their level, too.
“You can stay in there until you learn how to be cooperative,” I said loudly, leaning over the trunk, hoping he could hear me over his banging. “And you had better not dent my car!”
Turning on the lantern, I made my way back to Rudolph. As I waved the light, I caught the odd flicker like someone—or several someones—were watching me from the snowy ditches.
“I mean no harm,” I called, feeling spooked. I’d just done two very bad things—hitting Rudolph and locking up an elf, and I tried not to think about what sort of consequences the magical world might lob my way.
I crouched beside Rudolph, who blinked at me. He lifted his head, then slowly rested it on the road again.
