Page 28 of Unless It's You
From:Stella Hart
Date:11 July 2024
Subject:Stella Hart Bucket List Update for Approval
Dear Richard,
I have a quick update for you on where I am with Aunt Evelyn’s bucket list, as you’d said we should check in to make sure we’re on the right track.
I’ve chosen my advisor. His name is Ethan Fraser, and he’s an old friend and will help me and sign off on the list.
1. Volunteer
I am leading a project to produce a commercial for a charity that supports underprivileged kids in London. We will shoot the spot just before the bucket list deadline.
This is true. Ethan’s voice rings in my head, telling me it doesn’t count if I’m getting paid to do it.Shut up!
2. Adopt an Animal
I have already adopted an animal! Attached you’ll find the adoption certificate and a picture of me with my cuddly polar bear, who will continue to live at London Zoo.
3. Adventure to the Isle of Skye in Scotland
I have it on my calendar to climb the Old Man of Storr on Saturday, August 3, which is Day 27.
That one’s an utter lie and I hate myself for it. It’s simply not reasonable. I’ll likely be on a TV shoot that week—the Sporting UK Foundation one—and then suddenly will have to get my ass up to the remote Isle of Skye and climb some dumb big rock. Graham has won actual awards for his photoshopping skills, so that’s what’s going to happen here.I’ll go in the fall, I promise, Aunt Evelyn.
4. Help Reese
I’m going to invest in Reese’s side business, which is creating websites for artists and writers.
I thought of this on the walk home from the zoo. Reese sent me and Maddie a draft of her own website, which she’s launching soon to try to gather some clients. I admit, the way I’m doing this one kind of sucks. Once she gets her share of Evelyn’s estate, Reese won’t really need any financial help fromme. And her startup costs should be low. But it’s all I can think of.
5. Find the One that Got Away
I’m going to send a message to my ex-boyfriend and connect with him. I don’t think he’s ‘the one that got away,’ but I will make sure I made the right decision to break up with him.
Thanks, and let me know if you see any problems with the above.
Best,
Stella Hart
Best? No, that’s not my best, and I know it. Ethan knows it. And maybe even Stuffy Richard will know it.
Worse? Evelyn would know it.
I want to throw up the stale wine swirling in my belly, but instead I grab the half-full glass and slide onto one of my kitchen chairs, doubling down by taking a giant swig. Am I really going to send Ben a message? What, a text? A written letter? I shake my head violently and my hair whips into my eyeballs. This is the worst one. The nerve of Evelyn. I’d like to have a word with her.
I close my eyes and imagine Ethan reading that email. I’m sure he won’t even sign off on the list as it is.
And that fifth item. I can’t tell Ethan about it. It would remind him that I kissed him and then dated hisbest friend. As if he forgot. If I told Ethan, maybe he wouldn’t even help with the list at all because it’d be a huge conflict of interest. Maybe he’d go tell Ben and they’d laugh at me together. And maybe then, Ben wouldn’t even agree to talk to me.
I can’t trust Ethan with that one.
I want to accept help from him. I really do. Let him save me from myself. But I can’t. It’s like my brain is at its emotionalcapacity and can’t absorb one more thing. Being around Ethan even more, opening myself up to him, would push me over the edge. It would tip my carefully balanced life, one that’s already been rocked by losing Evelyn.
I don’t want to depend on anyone. Just like Evelyn and my dad, I’m better off on my own. Alone.
