Page 35 of Unless It's You
He keeps talking, but I’m stuck back on the Stella comment. Ihaveto bring up working with her. Now. I haven’t been intentionally lying to him so far... but now it feels like I would be.
“Thanks for listening.” Finally, he takes a breath.
I nod. “Of course, mate. And since you mentioned Stella...”
He blinks rapidly at me. “Yeah?”
“You know how I’m doing that commercial for Sporting London, soon to be Sporting UK Foundation? About the merger?”
Ben nods. “Yeah, you texted me about that.”
I’m not sure why I feel such dread, and almost guilt.
But Idoknow. It’s the feelings for Stella that I’ve always tried to hold back. The ones that are stronger than ever.
“Well, guess who is the lead at the advertising agency?”
Ben stares at me blankly, then his eyes widen.
“No. Stella?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“Holy shite.” He lets out a huff and swirls his pint, then drinks deeply. “I miss that girl. How is she?”
“Fine, I guess.” Hemissesher? Dammit.
“Is she single, do you know?”
I chug my entire pint as he watches me, waiting for a response. There is no way I’m going to tell him I’m helping with her great-aunt’s bucket list. No way I’ll tell him about the lingering toucheswe’ve shared—in the office kitchen, outside her building this morning.
About how I want more. I wanther.
I’m a traitor. Here is my best friend, telling me about how he wants a wholesome marriage and family like his parents, and I’m lusting after his ex-girlfriend. Who he’s clearly got lingering feelings for.
“I’m not sure. I haven’t asked.”
“I should text her. Maybe she’d see me again.”
My gut squeezes in horror. I know she’s Ben’s, not mine, but the idea of them texting, calling, talking... kissing. It makes me want to hurl.
“You’re still hung up on her?” I attempt to sound as casual as possible.
He tilts his head and stares vacantly past me.
“I don’t know. She’s kind of like my one who got away, you know?”
I swallow loudly and am thankful for the low roar of the busy pub.
Ben’s reaction gives me pause.Ishe still hung up on Stella? I thought he’d quickly moved on since he’d dated multiple women after their breakup, including a cute German university student he’d met within weeks.
“Have you heard from Ulrike lately?”
“She’s another one who got away! I’m on a bad streak. First Stella breaks it off, then Ulrike a few months later.” Ben rubs his jaw. “I’m actually not sure if Ulrike dumped me, or just headed back to Germany for a month and then forgot all about us when she got back. I should text her, too.”
Ben’s so casual about everything. Dating Stella, losing Stella, moving on to the German girl, moving onfromthe German girl...
Does he still want Stella, though? Maybe. I need to be morecareful. No more touching. No more flirting. She’s off-limits, like she’s always been.
