Page 61 of Unless It's You
Ben’s at a table in the corner, glancing between his mobile and a pair of giggling women at the bar. He’s my opposite. We’re both tall, but he’s got light hair, blue eyes that I’ve personally heard women gush over, and a chiseled, clean-shaven face. He never broke his nose in rugby; his is perfectly straight. He’s every woman’s dream, and the ones at the bar are no exception, stealing glances back at him and whispering to each other. Meanwhile, I’m bearded, tattooed, and gruff.
Stella doesn’t seem to mind. I shake myhead to get the shattering image of her pressed naked against my bedroom door out of my head.
“Hey, mate,” I call out when I’m a meter away. “Another pint?” Ben smiles, revealing bright white teeth.
“Absolutely.” He eyes his half-empty glass.
I head to the bar and order two pints, which the bartender immediately begins pouring.
I could tell Ben.
I could tell him I have a thing for Stella. That I’m hanging out with her. My stomach tightens at the idea of it. I sneak a look back over my shoulder as the bartender swipes my card. Yeah, he’d been upset about their split. I got plenty of texts and met him for pints more than usual. But one week after they broke up, we went out on a Friday night, and he’d taken a woman home that very night. Shortly after that, he started dating the German girl. He bounced back really fast.
Ben’s not a wallower. It shouldn’t matter to him that I’ve hung out with Stella a few times. I don’t have to confess that I’ve slept with her, or the feeling I get when she locks her dark-blue eyes on mine, or gets that look where she’s trying to pay attention to what I’m saying but I’m sure she’s thinking of kissing me.
That I might be falling for her.
Fuck. No. I can’t tell him that. I barely want to admit it myself. Is it even true? Have Ialreadyfallen for her? Yes. Of course I have. If I’m honest with myself, I fell for her a year and a half ago. It’s always been Stella Hart for me, and I’m only now letting that beast out of its cage.
Oh, fuck.
Isn’t the whole thing a betrayal, though? Don’t I owe Ben and his family basically everything? Or... is it possible I don’t owe him my entire life and one hundred percent blind loyalty?
Beer sloshes over my hands as I stutter in my steps to the table with the full pints.
Ben and his family were my personal Sporting UK Foundation.Even more. But this is worth a try. I can bring up Stella again. See how he reacts this time. Work it in that we’ve had a drink, and she’s... friendly. I flash back to her screaming my fucking name on Monday night. Christ.
“How’s life, mate?” Ben reaches out for the pint, draining his first one with the other hand.
Life is Stella. She’s the only thing I think of right now. She’s in every part of it. Work. Mum’s flat. The bucket list. It’s all Stella. Everything’s changed in the almost two weeks since I last had a drink with Ben. Longer than usual for us... I can’t deny that I’ve been partially avoiding him.
I need to ease into this conversation, not just throw it all at him at once.
“Still on that project for Sporting UK Foundation. A few more weeks and it’ll be done.” I clink his raised pint. We drink deeply.
“How’s Stella?” Ben raises his eyebrows.
I practically spit out my mouthful of beer, but I hold up a finger and chug half my pint to delay answering.
“I heard from her, you know.” He returns his drink to the table.
Once again, I have to concentrate on not spewing my pint all over the table.The fuck?
“Which was a wild coincidence, as I was thinking about sending her a text after you and I met up the week before last. But she messaged me first.”
“Yeah?” I feel like I just took a hard hit in the stomach on the pitch.Ben lazily wipes the condensation off his pint glass. “What did she have to say?”
Why is Stella talking to Ben again? Not that she needs to tell me everything about her life. But we’ve been sharing a lot lately, like a fucking bed for twelve hours, and this is a big deal. What’s she hiding from me?
“We’re getting together this Saturday night. She wants to talk about our relationship, apparently.”
The breath disappears from my lungs, and I remain completely frozen. It’s like I’ve been transported from my body to a spot above us, watching some terrible rugby play where someone’s getting their ear ripped to shreds.
“She said she wants to figure out what went wrong. If she made the wrong decision leaving. I don’t know, something like that.” Ben shakes his head with a tentative smile. “Something about a bucket list.”
“A bucket list?” Her aunt Evelyn’s bucket list? What’s this have to do with?—
The fifth bucket list item.
