25
STELLA
Thursday, July 25
BUCKET LIST DAY 18
Iwiggle under a cozy fleece blanket on my couch, so glad to be back from Switzerland.
This month has been exhausting. But I feel different than I did in the beginning, when I first got Evelyn’s bucket list. The idea of cheating was distressing, but what else was I going to do?
Now, I’m nearing the finish line, with only ten days to go. And there has been no cheating. Well, not really.
I stare down at the text chain with my ex-boyfriend. I hadn’t heard from Ben since last weekend when he suggested meeting, so I reached back out.
Me
Hi. What’s the plan for Saturday?
Ben
Hey! Let’s do The Boar andThe Bear at eight
I groan. Going to the pub by his flat feels too familiar. We always hung out there. Our relationship was about me joining his life, not us making a new one together.
I give his text a thumbs up and go to drop my phone back on the couch when it lights up again.
Ben
I heard you’ve been spending time with Ethan at work. I know you two never much got along. Is it better now?
Oh, sweet baby Jesus. The very last thing I want—or expected—is comments from Ben about Ethan. The other way around? Yeah, once I tell Ethan about the Ben item, after it’s done, I’m sure we’ll discuss. But for now, I should not engage with Ben on this topic. I should ignore any questions about Ethan?—
Me
Yes. It’s better
Ben
We had a pint earlier this week and talked about how you’re working together
Ah. That sounds innocent enough. They’re best friends, of course they had drinks and talked about their jobs.
Ben
He talked about his ex-girlfriend, who he’s been hanging out with again
What the hell? But no. I know about Helen this time. I can’t stop from responding, even though I absolutely shouldn’t.
Me
He said they’re friends
Idefinitelyknow more than Ben about Ethan’s love life. Ben doesn’t have all the information. Ethan and Helen aren’t a thing.He told me so. But I hate that the text came off defensive. I shouldn’t be continuing this conversation.
Ben
He dated her ages ago, then I dated her, then when you and I first got together, they had a thing. She’s got a little boy now, who Ethan loves. He spends a lot of time with them when he’s in Newcastle