Page 90 of Unless It's You
“Aye,” Dave agrees.
“What?” I spin around.
“We’re going to have a seat on these comfortable-looking rocks and enjoy this view.” Joe nods just ahead of us at a wide viewing area. “And maybe some of the beers we brought along.”
“Hair of the dog.” Gerald nods solemnly.
“Gross, but okay.” I bite my lip and my heartbeat accelerates. I find Ethan’s eyes on me. I need to get to the top. Even if I was going to tell him how I feel right here—and every bit of my being screams no to that—I need to find Evelyn at the peak. Not here.
The family of four treks past us at a quick clip, nodding a greeting and beginning the even-steeper part of the hike, at least according to the internet.
Ethan’s eyes are narrowed, his face scrunched. He’s not looking at the view or the men. He’s looking at me.What’s he thinking?Probably wondering how to get out of this. I wait and let him sort it out.
Finally, his face softens, and he nods his head in the direction of the trail.
“Let’s go.”
I nod and start walking immediately, not giving him another second to change his mind. Evelyn’s bucket list dictates I need someone to come with me, and I’m not cheating on the list. Not now, when I’ve come so far.
Ethan pulls up next to me. The silence between us is heavy, but I pretend that the last week went differently, that it was the beginning of something, not the beginning of the end.
I wish it was a misunderstanding. I wish I could’ve simplyexplained that the kiss with Ben didn’t mean anything. It was a test, and the test showed that I am meant to be with Ethan. But it’s not that clear. The layers of neglect and of craving love and belonging from his desolate upbringing won’t allow him to let me in. They won’t allow him to adjust his loyalty to Ben and give us a chance.
Hopefully, what I worked on last night will be enough to convince him that we deserve to try.
At a fork in the trail, we take the path to the left. The mid-thirties couple from earlier passes us on their way back down, and the family of four is camped out drinking water and eating granola bars.
It’ll be just us at the top, then.
The trail becomes skinny, narrow, and steep, and I concentrate on not tripping as I climb the natural stone steps that lead to the base of the giant rock. When we get there, a sheen of sweat covers my forehead and my heart races.
I look around. “Oh my god.”
Ethan stops next to me and follows my gaze. The view is breathtaking, higher than the viewpoint where we left the men. Several islands dot the ocean in the distance. The rolling, jagged hills around us are covered in bright green, scattered with large boulders and giant rocks, not quite as big as the Old Man, but still impressive.
“That’s the mainland,” Ethan says, his voice soft and reverent. “And those islands are Raasay and Rona.”
“It’s beautiful.” This is where Evelyn’s proposal happened. Her man must’ve been the ultimate romantic to plan such a thing.How could she have said no? At a place like this?I close my eyes. Evelyn said in her letter she’d try to talk to me when I got here. Reach for me through the heavens. I breathe in through my nose, out through my mouth. Again. The cool Scottish breeze lifts my hair and I run my hands along the sides of my exposed neck.
Are you there, Aunt Evelyn?
She doesn’t speak, but I feel her. She’s in the whisper of thewind through the surrounding grass. The rays of the sun warming my shoulders. The memory of her alive—a life lived so fully and well—all around me. The love she gave me, from when I was growing up in New Jersey to the last years of her life, when I was across the ocean.
She’s here. She’s all around me. Sheisme.
Stel-La!Her voice rings clearly in my mind.You made it!
She’s saying hello, and goodbye, and that she’ll always be with me.
Peace blankets me. A smile crosses my face and I open my eyes.
I’m not alone on top of this mountain. And there is one more thing I have to do here, something besides checking off Evelyn’s bucket list.
36
ETHAN
Tears run down Stella’s cheeks, but she looks peaceful. I clench my fists to stop from reaching over and swiping the moisture from under her eyes.
