Page 16 of One Hundred Lights
For the first time in forever, I feel like I’m doing something right for my son. And for myself.
Adrian grins and throws his arm around my shoulder as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.
“Imagine it, Britt.” He sweeps a hand over the expanse of the gym. “In just a few hours, hundreds of horny, sweaty teens and preteens will converge in this very spot.”
I giggle and reach up to touch the hand hanging off my shoulder, feeling like a teenager myself. We stare at each other, and my laughter fades into background music.
I wonder if this could be okay, the way I’m feeling right now.
But nothing’s changed—not really—since Adrian first walked into the Idea Garage a few days ago. No matter my good intentions, I still messed up my friendship with Reese, whatever I had with Adrian, and their marriage. I don’t deserve this feeling that’s growing inside me—a tiny wisp of a plant that was shriveled up and mostly dead in the dark, cold shade of winter, but that is starting to perk up now that it feels a small ray of sunlight.
“Adrian,” I whisper. “I . . .”
“Britt!” A voice rings out across the gym and I reluctantly turn to see the mom trio of Jill, Sara, and Liz waving at me.
“Oh, god. You better go deal with the moms.” Adrian drops his arm from my shoulder. “But I’m going to avoid them. Is it better if they ignore you, or acknowledge you? I can’t figure it out.”
I turn to him, my mouth still open and ready to say something. What was I going to say? I’m not sure, but I should probably thank the moms for interrupting.
“Yeah.” I take a step away. “Smart. I’d avoid contact, to be honest.” We hold our gaze for another second, then I shake my head to clear it. “I’ll check in with them, then I’m going to head out so I can get dressed and be back before the kids arrive. See you later?”
Adrian runs his hand through his hair, letting a thick piece fall on his forehead. He was a flirt as a teenager. I watched him and my brother from a distance. Adrian didn’t give me a second glance until that one kiss at the party after high school graduation.
Then, nothing.
He’s definitely glancing at me now.
“I wouldn’t miss it. Save me a dance?”
I bite my lip and nod before spinning around and heading across the gym.
A few hours later,I’m back and bouncing from one station to the next, making sure everything is absolutely perfect.
It is. I’m so damn excited to see all the kids walk in. It feels like it’smywinter dance, too.
And Adrian was right. It was impossible to tell the effect of the strings of lights this afternoon, but I’m glad I listened to him and the moms, who insisted that we needed so many of them. It is perfect. I have no regrets about the cost. What taxpayers? What PTO? I’d fund this all myself if I had to. Jackson was bouncing with excitement when I dropped him off at his friend’s house a few hours ago. He and his buddy want to make an entrance tonight together. I smile and shake my head. What a funny kid.
I stop by the music booth, where corporate mom Grace is chatting with the DJ. She wiggles a few fingers at me and goes back to talking to him. She has a clipboard, so she must know what she’s doing.
The dance starts in just ten minutes, and kids are already lining up to get in. Jackson will sleep at his friend’s house tonight, which means he doesn’t have to hang around the gym while I clean up. I can’t wait for him to see this place. A goofy smile grows on my face and warmth radiates from the center of my chest. Tonight, I want to forget about how I messed up in the past year. The night is about Jackson and all the kids having an amazing time at their dance. This is going to be a good night for him. For everyone. I just know it.
I smooth my dress down, hoping I didn’t overdo it with my tall, skinny heels and strapless, sparkly black dress, the one I’d bought for a night out in New York City a few years ago. What was the name of the guy I went with? Brad? Robert? Oh, I think it was Brendan. Maybe. Who knows? Who cares? He didn’t mean anything to me.
Not like Adrian does.
My stomach squeezes as I imagine Adrian throwing his arm over my shoulder now, my bare skin under his palm, leaning in to whisper something in my ear.
“Get it under control, Britt.” Music echoes from the huge speakers, drowning out the sound of me pep talking myself. Everything is going to be perfect tonight. I can’t get lost in my own head. That’s how I got myself into this mess.
The first students burst into the gym, a group of kids from Jackson’s grade. Two girls clutching each other’s arms stare wide-eyed at the lights, giggling and doing little excited jumps, looking super trendy with their short dresses paired with bright white sneakers.
Jackson appears in the third group and I wave eagerly. He lifts a hand to say hello, not yet ashamed of acknowledging his mom in front of friends. They smile and look around with wonder. Jackson mouths the wordwowto the other boy. Happy fireworks burst inside of me.
All the work was worth it.
I pull my hair over my shoulder, not used to it being down and curled. I tried way too hard tonight. No one cares what I look like. Adrian will barely notice my dress or my heels or the effort I put into my hair. My phone vibrates and I grab it out of the clutch purse hanging off my wrist. I sigh. It’s just a text about trash delivery around the holidays being delayed.
While I’m there, I scroll to my text chain with Adrian, which was quiet for so long but now filled with messages from the last few days. Messages about nothing, really, just a picture of his Christmas tree at his new place, him asking what I got the app incubator team, an image of Captain shredding toilet paper, him sending some stupid meme that made me laugh...
