Page 35 of Reluctantly Abducted
"We did."
"But?"
I hesitate. Part of me wants to retreat, to pull back to safer ground. To say something clinical about "changing parameters" or "new variables." The scientist in me is screaming to maintain distance, to protect myself from this unfamiliar vulnerability.
"But I'm... confused," I finally say, choosing my words carefully. "I didn't expect to feel... conflicted about the end of the assessment period."
Owen's expression is hard to read. "I'm not good at relationships, Ry'eth. My marriage fell apart."
"I've never even had a real relationship," I point out. "I've never wanted one."
"We live on different planets," Owen continues.
"We have ships."
"Your work takes you to remote places for long periods."
"So did your military service."
A small smile tugs at his lips. "Are you going to counter everything I say?"
"I'm just being thorough," I say, feeling a matching smile on my own face.
"Look," Owen says, getting serious again. "I don't know what this is between us. I don't know if it's just this weird situation, or if it's something real. But I do know I can't stop thinking about you, and that's... that's not normal for me."
His honesty makes something twist inside me. I want to match it, but the words stick in my throat. "I'm... experiencing similar difficulties," I admit, retreating slightly into more formal language. "It's... unsettling."
"Terrifying," Owen agrees.
We sit quietly for a moment, both trying to process what we're admitting.
"I can't finish my report," I say finally. "I've tried four times, but something keeps stopping me."
"Which is?"
I look away, uncomfortable with how exposed I feel. "The data doesn't seem to capture the full picture." It's a safer answer than what I was about to say.
Owen's expression softens. "That's not very scientific, Ry."
"No," I agree, looking down at my hands. "It's not."
We fall quiet again, but it feels different now. Expectant. Like we're both waiting for something, but neither of us is sure what the next step should be.
"It's late," Owen says finally. "And we both need to sleep, especially if tomorrow's going to be... whatever it's going to be."
"Yes," I agree, though the thought of going back to my empty room makes my chest hurt. "I should go."
I stand up, but I can't make myself move toward the door. There's more I want to say, but I don't know how. I'm balanced on a knife's edge between what I've always been and something new and frightening.
"Would—" I start, then stop. My skin is glowing bright with nervousness. "Would it be okay if I stayed?"
Owen looks surprised. "Stayed?"
I almost lose my nerve. This is irrational. Unprofessional. A further breach of the scientific detachment I should maintain. And yet...
"Yes. To sleep," I clarify quickly. "I don't... I don't want to be alone with my thoughts right now."
Owen's face softens. "Of course you can stay."
