Page 112 of Unbound By Shadows
“Nothing yet,” she replied, bristling at his touch.
“Not quite,” Hal said, rising to his feet. He tapped his finger on a CD. “I've got to mosey along to see more acts tonight, but I’ll take one of these. It will help sustain me when I can’t get out to see new talent.” He pulled out a hundred-dollar bill from his pocket and handed it to Selene. “Keep the change.”
“Wow! Thank you. I’m so glad you enjoyed my set!” Kevin gushed. “I love your hat. Are you in the music industry?”
Hal smirked. “Thank you, son. I’m no big wig, just a fan of aspiring musicians. And as for your music, let’s just say it… fed my soul.”
“That’s really profound,” Kevin replied with a hand over his chest. “It’s my honor.”
Hal clapped him on the back. “Keep trying, boy. Always keep trying.” Then touching the brim of his hat, he whispered to Selene. “Dark blessings to you, Lady.”
Kevin looked puzzled while Selene smiled and said, “Thank you, Hal. You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
“Don’t think, just feel. If there’s something you want, claim it.” Then he gave her a small salute and turned to walk out of the bar.
Kevin flopped into the seat Hal had occupied and began drumming his fingers on the table. “He was interesting. Did you hear what he said about my music? Fed his soul.”
“Yes,” Selene murmured. As Kevin blathered on about music and souls, she stared at the jukebox where Hal had been standing. Suddenly the answer to the question she hated most wasn’t so complicated anymore.
She thought about all the experiences she had wanted as a child but wasn’t allowed to have. Summer camp, weekend sleepovers, studying abroad. And then as an adult—out-of-state college, travel, adventure, a partner who listened to her and respected her desires. She always had an excuse for not taking what she wanted. Not enough PTO hours, too expensive, more trouble than it was worth, too disruptive to her family, too unrealistic to hope for.
But if she took all of that away—eliminated all of the complications and self-imposed barriers? Then what did she want?
The truth spread throughout her limbs like effervescent bubbles. Bright, fresh, and real.
I want to be with Sam.
There was simply no other option for her. She had to go back toAurelia. She wasn’t going to be Sam’s emotional crutch in the way he seemed to think she was, but she had to see him. At least talk to him. She had a stone that could take her anywhere! If Sam couldn’t accept her terms to be the partner she wanted, then she could say goodbye and come home. But at least she would know. Then she could move on. It was pointless to waste another moment.
Turning to Kevin, she said, “We’re breaking up. I wish you the best, but it’s over.”
Chapter 47
The drive home from Maynard’s was tense, but Selene held firm to her decision. Kevin tried several tactics to get her to reconsider, but Selene never wavered. Eventually, she told Kevin his bargaining was useless since she was moving out of state.
“Where?” he had asked.
“I’m going to… ” How to explain that she was going somewhere unreachable? A remote village in Alaska? A tiny island in the Pacific? Impulsively, an idea popped into her head. “An eco-village. I want to live off the grid.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes. You know how important recycling is to me,” Selene replied, chuckling to herself. Their ongoing fight about Kevin’s habit of throwing paper into the trash instead of the recycle bin was paying off. She spouted a few platitudes about connecting with the earth and getting away from it all until they reached the apartment. Once inside, she told him he needed to sleep on the couch, and she closed the bedroom door.
The next morning, Kevin was gone when Selene woke so she started planning her departure. A few experiments using the stone totransport herself from room to room in the apartment had taught her it was best to visualize the physical space where she wanted to appear. She figured Sam had probably gone back to his life at Queen Thema's, so that was where she needed to focus. She wished she had seen inside his bedroom so she could imagine herself there. Surprise! But she also didn't want to scare him, so maybe she would just turn up outside the castle gates.
She hated to think how worried he must be about her. He had no idea where Zaybris had taken her or what he had done. He soon would, though. She would explain everything, including how his own mother was Lilith, the lost queen herself. He would be so relieved and happy. Queen Thema would finally have closure as well.
Selene considered Queen Thema while she cleaned out her closet.She hadn't fully resolved her feelings about the Malkina ruler. On the one hand, she felt furious and betrayed to have been nothing but a means to an end. Bait to further the queen’s own agenda.
Yet, Selene could sympathize with her motivations. If something had happened to Cass or Evan, wouldn't she exploit every advantage to find them? The queen was definitely an opportunist, but Selene didn't think she intentionally wanted her harmed. The whole thing was deeply wrong. However, she couldn't shake the fact that if Thema hadn't concocted her plan, she might have never met Sam.
Queen Thema was going to get a piece of her mind, Selene resolved. But she didn't want to focus on her grievances at the moment. Right now, it was only Sam that she craved.
Tomorrow. I’m going to see him tomorrow!
Her excitement was cut short by a tide of guilt. The reality that she would soon be saying goodbye to Cass and Evan was excruciating. Would they hate her for this? She hoped the stone would allow her to check in periodically. Would they be okay without her?
While she pondered these questions, a family photo slipped out from between the pages of a book she was sorting. It was one her father had taken at Christmas when Selene was about fifteen and the twins were ten. Evan and Cass stood proudly nextto two new bikes, and Selene modeled the plaid robe she had received. Her mother sat in an armchair behind the Christmas tree; her face deliberately turned away from the camera. In the corner of the photo, a sliver of her father’s finger touched the lens.
