Page 36 of Unbound By Shadows
Sam didn’t know how to respond so he just shrugged. They held each other’s gaze for a beat until Sam looked away. A strange feeling welled up in his chest. Almost as if something had opened and shifted inside. He wanted more.
“Thank you for telling me your story.” Selene yawned and handed the blanket back to Sam. “My feet are killing me so I’m going to turn in early tonight. Goodnight, Sam.”
“Sleep well, Selene” he replied.
He watched Selene enter her tent then poured a jug of water over their fire. A nagging feeling that he was playing a dangerous game tugged at his gut. He was growing too fond of his beautiful human companion. Sharing parts of his life he hadn’t told anyone ever, asking more than he should about hers. Queen Thema had assured him Selene would be better off in Aurelia, he knew that. And he hadvowed to get Thema the information about her lost sister that she needed. He was doing the best thing for both of them; for all of Aurelia, really. The realm would lose a violent demon, but gain a peace-loving human. Perhaps even a lost queen.
But under the night sky with Selene’s scent on his blanket and her boots sitting next to his, he wished things could be different.
Chapter 15
After two days of traveling along the road that would eventually take them into Harpy territory, Sam had them set up camp near the edge of Humbledew Lake. During their travels, Selene had told Sam more about her family and how she had learned to be adaptable from growing up in a state of constant unpredictability. Sam wondered if it was a normal human practice to mold one child to anticipate the needs of others, but he did not probe further. He understood what it was like to cope with inconstant circumstances.
Earlier that night, Sam told Selene about the time Queen Thema burned her mouth after mistaking a bud of heat-greens for a sweet cloudberry. Selene had laughed so heartily it made Sam feel as though he would burst with pride. Yet now, although Selene had gone to bed hours ago, Sam was troubled.
He swayed in his hammock, hoping the motion would lull him to sleep. He stared up at the moon, then closed his eyes. After directing his muscles to loosen, he commanded his mind to empty, or at least think of boring, innocuous things. Anything to keep his mind from weaving together a fantasy about something he could not have.
It was his own fault. He had trained his body to have certain expectations before falling asleep. To keep from reliving certain memories, he had learned to distract himself. Deep breathing and focusing on the present served him during the day, but at night he kept his mind occupied with elaborate fantasies, usually influenced by whatever erotic texts he had been reading.
Before drifting off, he would often imagine himself doing debauched, wicked things to an anonymous lover. One who reveled in his touch, desiring him so much she grew wet under his ministrations and moaned his name. He would satisfy her so thoroughly she would beg to reciprocate the pleasure she had received.
Formerly, his fantasy partner looked like a composite of the Aurelian features he found attractive—a generic female with emerald Malkina eyes, silvery Nereid skin, and the depraved hunger of a Lycah in season.
But as they traveled, he noticed his fantasy shifting. At first, he imagined a bedmate with glossy brown hair, the same shade as Selene’s. Then he could picture delicate humanlike hands trailing over his body. One night, a familiar mouth with full lips smiled up at him, asking for a kiss. The next evening he ran his tongue over berry-scented skin.
It wasn’t until last night when he saw himself staring into a pair of blue eyes that he knew. His fantasy wasn’t faceless anymore. He had been imagining Selene. Kissing her, touching her, tasting her. His mind had at last found a face suitable for his perverse thoughts, and latched on for good.
His hammock creaked as he rolled over. He wondered what Selene wore to bed. Did she sleep in her clothes in case of attack as he did? Or did she change into nightwear? Did she languish in a shimmering swirl of lace like Malkina females favored? Or would she prefer something plain and discreet?
His shaft hardened as several possibilities progressed through his mind. It wasn’t until he considered that she might not wearanythingto bed that he had to suppress a groan. That thought led to a visionof Selene standing before him at their campsite, clad only in moonlight. She would look so beautiful, so ethereal, but her smile would be wicked. Wanton.
He imagined her beckoning him to come closer. And when he did, she would ask him to kiss and touch her. Take his scarred hands and place them on her body. He would knead her lush breasts until her head lolled back on her shoulder. Her moans would fill the forest as he caressed her hardened nipples, teasing and pinching the sensitive peaks just as he’d read about in his books.
Then he would take Selene’s small hand and press it against the front of his breeches. Compel her to feel the way his cock strained toward her. Make her understand how able his body was to give her exactly what she needed so that she would ask him into the tent and beg him to pleasure her until sunrise.
The night air was brisk, but sweat dotted Sam’s forehead. The imagined scenario made his erection pulse so hard against his pants he gasped. He kicked off his bedding and swung his legs out to plant his feet on the ground.Stop this.What started as a passing thought had turned into a carnal delusion—one that was making him crazed for relief.
At first, he decided to wade in the lake. Perhaps the cold water would quell the throbbing ache between his legs. He ran the heel of his hand down his erection and shuddered. No. The lake’s chill wouldn't be enough. There was only one option.
Sam slipped away from the campsite. He headed toward the lake, hoping the sound of water would disguise what he was about to do. Making sure he wasn’t so far out that he couldn’t see Selene’s tent, he dropped to his knees on a patch of dirt.
Tearing at the fly of his pants with a shaky hand, Sam winced as his heavy cock sprung free. With a practiced grip, he curled his fingers around himself. Stroked once, twice. And then before he could think, he was coming. His climax ripped through him so hard and fast he bit his lip to keep from crying out. Hot seed jetted out of him onto the ground as his big body trembled.
When it was over, he slumped back on his heels, panting. The metallic tang of blood filled his mouth, and he realized his teeth had sunk into his lip. Wiping the blood away with the back of his hand, he stumbled toward the lake to clean up.
Staring up at the stars, he let out a curse. His body was spent, but he felt no closer to relief. He hated this lust-mad part of himself. Loathed the way his body’s urges could dominate his mind, turning him into a mindless beast who sought only pleasure. With practice, he had learned to negotiate his drive for vengeance.Mostly.But the desire he felt for Selene? Its intensity scared him and made him fear for her safety. He even pitied her for being unlucky enough to attract his attention.
He had seen the cruelty that unrestrained lust could inflict. On days when the worst of his memories flooded back, the scars encircling his wrists would ache as if he were still enchained and powerless to stop the violations that had occurred in the blood wagons every night. He had sworn never to be that sort of male—one who used force to satisfy his needs. He would rather die than cross that line.
And yet… if Selene ever did ask him to her bed, he wasn’t certain he could be gentle. She would prefer a tender lover, surely. A practiced hand who could woo her, tease her, and build their passion softly. Slowly. Not an inexperienced, volatile demon who nearly came when she touched his hand.
He gritted his teeth, wondering how Kevin P. Norton might tend to her. Was he a masterful lover? Surely not, judging by the way she failed to pine for him. Yet he probably knew how to control his lusts. The sense of shame that pervaded the human race would hold the man back from acting out his most depraved desires. But demons were born with very little qualms and a fierce disregard for propriety in the bedroom. Sam feared he would frighten Selene with his debauched needs, or worse, become brutish in his quest to satisfy them.
He righted his pants and began to head back to their camp. It wasfoolish and pointless, this infatuation he had. Yet he couldn’t deny his feelings for her went beyond lust.
Mate…
The word floated on the edges of his mind like a whispered secret. She could be his fated mate. That would explain his reaction, his obsession. He was undoubtedly attracted to her, but mates also had the ability to calm each other and bring perspective and peace. The concept had been hammered into him since birth, and he had seen his mother provide that to his father countless times in the Underworld.
