Page 44 of Unbound By Shadows
Enough was enough. It was settled. Once she got back home, she was ending it with Kevin for good. He would be free to “explore” in every sense of the word, and so would she.
She felt strangely liberated by this decision but also troubled. Now one of her main objections to being with Sam was gone. The thought of being in his big, strong demonic arms felt veryright, disturbingly so. And it wasn’t just because she suspected he would be scorchingly good in bed. It was because of who he would allow her to be. How he would want her to be.
Unrestrained.
Selene closed her eyes as desire pounded through her. Absorbing the full implications of the thought made her insides scramble.
In her experience, most men talked a big game about wanting a sexually liberated woman—a partner who didn’t hold back, one that was willing to explore and knew what she wanted. But when they actually got one?
It intimidated the hell out of them.
Selene had learned that quickly with her college boyfriend. After they had sex, the first time for them both, she felt likeshe had found a missing piece of herself. It wasn’t spectacular, but she loved the sensations, the connection, and the release it brought. She didn’t have a lot of baggage or guilt around sex—as long as it took place between consenting adults. And so, being the curious but committed girlfriend that she was, she had dived into this new side of herself with gusto. She checked out the Kama Sutra from the campus library, picked out lingerie at the mall, and even bought some basic sex toys online.
And what had it gotten her? A happy boyfriend and a flourishing sex life? Nope. Dumped, that was what it got her. And called a nympho.
So she had toned it down with her next boyfriend. She waited for him to make all the moves, and responded as she thought a nice, normal girl would. Never made any demands, never asked for anything she wanted. But she was so bored. When a magazine advised leaving out a bookmarked manual of sex positions to spice things up, she had tried it. He hadn’t even bothered to crack the book open.
And then there was Kevin. Once when she had tried to initiate sex twice in one week, he joked that she was “insatiable.” It had hurt, and she wasn’t sure why she had even bothered. The waterproof vibrator she kept hidden in the bathroom gave her more satisfying experiences than he did.
Being with someone as fierce as Sam could be… interesting. Definitely illuminating. Was she bold enough to make the first move? She knew if he were going to initiate anything, he would have done so by now. He seemed far too honorable to ever to give her cause to mistrust him. So it was up to her. She twirled a lock of hair around her finger and looked up to meet her reflection.
What would the newly singleAurelianSelene do? It was almost as if they had just met, so she wasn’t sure. Instead, she thought of the women she had met in Aurelia and what advice they would give.
Queen Thema would tell her that the Malkina took pleasure wherever they could find it, so she shoulddo the same. Hollen’s advice would be to tell Sam, point-blank, that they were going to sleep together. And Arkaya? She would scold her for being so indecisive and question why she would want to speak of anything but her own truth.
Selene swallowed. What was her truth? When she cut away all of the noise of propriety and obligations and what sheshouldwant, what remained?
Only desire. For Sam.
And so it was decided—no more overthinking. No more asking for permission. This was happening. It didn’t have to be forever, and it didn’t have to make sense.
She was going to tell Sam they needed just one room.
Chapter 18
When Sam made his way back to Selene through the tavern, he noticed she was sitting unusually straight. He motioned for another ale, then sat down. He could tell something was off with her; she seemed nervous.
She turned to face him. “Sam. I-I have something to say.”
There was a quality about her posture, or maybe it was a subtle shift in her scent that made everything male in him suddenly alert.
She paused to fan her face. “Wow, is it really hot in here? Do you think it’s okay if I take off my hoodie? I’m taking it off.” She tugged off her black jacket, then began rubbing her palms up and down her thighs. “I… I want… I think we should… ” she said, then trailed off.
“Yes?” he probed.
She pulled her shoulders back, then took a deep breath. Opened her mouth, closed it. Dropping her eyes, she bit her lip then blurted out, “I’ll tell you in a minute. I have to go to the bathroom!”
Sam nodded, though she wasn’t asking for his permission. Scrambling down from her stool, she rushed toward the back of the tavern where the passages of relief were located. He rubbed a hand over his chin.Odd human.Changeability must be a quirk of her race.Another thing about her he had yet to understand. When he turned back toward the bar, something soft brushed his foot. Glancing down, he saw that Selene’s jacket had fallen to the floor.
He bent to pick it up, then held the fabric to his nose. It smelled of the berry soap he had picked for her in Padu. A deep feeling of possessiveness coursed through him, making him even more certain of the decision he had come to moments before.
I’m keeping her.
Selene would not be traveling back to Queen Thema's castle that day or any day soon. Not until this mission was over.
It was a decision based purely on logic, arrived at with rational deliberation, or so he told himself. First off, there were no suitable guides in The Golden Gust. The tavern was full of doddering elders, impulsive Harpies, and a group of obnoxious Lycahs. There were no warriors, capablefemalewarriors like he had imagined to shepherd Selene back to Queen Thema.
Secondly, as much as the idea discomforted him, Selene could be used as leverage with Zaybris. When the stakes were this high, could he forfeit such an advantage? Of course, he wouldn’t let her come to any harm. Zaybris wouldn’t touch one hair on her head. But he would be a fool to let such a treasure go, despite the complications she brought.
