Page 23 of To Dwell in Shadows
“Of course it was. You were so young and must have been so scared.” The king’s voice wavered. He roughly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, then pulled Sam into a bone-jarring hug.
Sam leaned into his father’s embrace. It felt strange seeing theking display such intense emotion. He had always seen his father as impenetrable when it came to feelings. Controlled, measured, and even brutal in his rule of the Underworld.
During festivals or grand feasts, he could play the part of boisterous king, but he never lost his temper. Never made a misstep he’d have to walk back. His stoicism was the standard Sam had always compared himself to.
When a fish spoiled the moment by splashing loudly against the water, Sam pulled back. “The past cannot be changed, Father. I’m just glad I can return here without dying.”
Asmodeus gave a dry, mirthless chuckle. “Fate had a plan all along, it seems.”
“Yes, I suppose so.”
Asmodeus regarded him carefully. “Son, I… I need to tell you something. Your return is more fortuitous than you know.”
“What do you mean?”
Asmodeus opened his mouth, then hesitated. His jaw flexed as if weighing his next words, but he shook his head. “No. Another time.” He bounced his fishing rod a few times then said, “We can speak of royal matters later. Right now, I just want you to know how sorry we are for everything. And how much agony we’ve been in without you. Your mother cried every night for you.”
“I missed you both, too. But eventually, I found comfort and happiness in Aurelia.”
Asmodeus let out a ragged sigh. “Will you tell me more of your life there? I want to hear it all—the good and the bad.”
“Yes, but… ” A cold sweat broke out across Sam’s forehead as he considered how much to share. This was the moment he had dreaded—the time to get everything out in the open and reveal his greatest source of shame. For a second, he considered lying but thought better of it. Nothing could diminish the gravity of his actions. Whatever punishment awaited him, he would bear it honorably.
“There is something I need to confess to you. Something that has plagued me for many years.”
“What is it?”
“In Aurelia… I know it is forbidden for our kind to kill mortals, but?—”
“You killed some mortals,” the king finished for him.
Sam paused, surprised that Asmodeus had so easily guessed his turmoil. “I took many lives. Some innocent, some not. In most cases, I felt as though I had no choice. In others, I merely lost control.”
Sam winced, half expecting his father to drop his characteristic control and rage at him, but the king’s expression remained neutral.
“What were the circumstances?”
Sam started from the very beginning, describing how Zaybris had left him in Aurelia with his vampire brother, who sought to drink only tormented blood. He explained how he had to fight in the blood wagons and how sometimes he lost control and killed his opponents.
He shared how he grew close to Brunie and Eldridge, and the regret he felt over the burns Brunie suffered when he set fire to the blood wagons.
He described how he became a guard for Queen Thema, how he felt when he saw Selene across the crowded ballroom, and their journey to find the traveler’s stone.
He told him of the terrible day when he thought he had lost Selene forever—and the joy he felt when she returned.
Through it all, his father listened patiently, though Sam was too ashamed to meet his eye. But when Sam finally reached the end of his story, King Asmodeus didn’t even give him a moment to exhale. He simply said, “Son, look at me.”
Sam raised his eyes, bracing himself for whatever might come next.
“I absolve you of these deaths.”
Sam froze, bewildered. “But I thought?—”
Asmodeus raised a hand, cutting him off. “You did what you hadto do to survive. And you were in a realm that didn’t understand your nature, with rules different from our own.”
“Yes, but… ”
“I said I absolve you.”
