Page 61 of To Dwell in Shadows
“About three hundred of your years ago.”
Selene’s mouth fell open. “You were around in the 1700s? Where?”
Borias sat beside her and shrugged. “Here and there. I mostly spent time in Europe. A few years in Russia.”
“Did you enjoy your time there?”
“Somewhat. I liked the sunsets.”
“I miss those. I’m probably developing a serious vitamin D deficiency here,” Selene joked. “I never knew demons walked among humans until recently. I actually met a demon in Nashville, where I’m from, once. He said he came to Gaia through a séance.”
“Yes, some demons will take that route when they need a quick escape. What was his name?”
“Halphas. Or Hal, is what he goes by. Do you know him?”
Borias’s dark eyebrows shot up. “Yes. He was the cavalry officer for the Legion of Temptation’s mounted troops, but he deserted. Did he seem all right?”
“Yes. He was very kind to me.”
“Good. Some demons take to human life well. Others don’t. Do you plan to become a demon yourself?”
“No. We’re just visiting.” Selene gave him a sideways look. “But maybe if I did become one, I wouldn’t be so squeamish about watching people get beat up.”
“Doubtful. I don’t know exactly how it would work, but I imagine traits you have suppressed as being undesirable would rise to the surface. It wouldn’t necessarily make you bloodthirsty or sadistic. You might sprout wings, though.”
“Now, that sounds cool.” Her smiled faltered as darker thoughts drifted by.
“What is it?” Borias asked. “Something grieves you.”
She bit the corner of her lip. “It’s just that… sometimes I feel like I’m holding Sam back. Like maybe I should become a demon so he can stay here longer.”
“But do youwantto become a demon? Really want it?”
“No.”
Borias gave her an assessing look. “I know your type. I see it in the Sanctum all the time. Not as one to be punished, but as one whom others manipulate. The ancient word for it is whim-shifter.”
Selene drew back, slightly offended. “What does that mean?”
“You try to be what others need. Reshape and shift yourself to please others, or act as you think they want you to.”
Selene’s face flushed. “That’s exactly what I do,” she said softly. It felt as though Borias had just stripped her naked and paraded her around the stadium with his words. “We call it a people-pleaser in my world.”
“Don’t look so horrified. It’s not always a bad thing.It’s just that in my experience, whim-shifters never get what they truly want. They put forth a lot of effort for little reward.”
Selene gave a small snort. “Tell me about it. So, what’s the remedy?”
“Start pleasing yourself. If you don’t want to be a demon, don’t become one. I’ve never heard Prince Samael say he wished you weren’t human. He seems to love you as you are.”
“He does. He absolutely does. But his parents… ” she trailed off.
“See? There you go again. Forgive me for being so bold, Lady Selene, but you’re trying to shift yourself to please someone else.”
“Good grief,” she said lightly. “Since when are Vengeance demons so perceptive?”
“I’m very wise,” Borias said with a wink. Then he added, “I’ve also seen inside the souls of many humans.”
She rubbed her fingers between the fabric of her dress. “I hate being this way.”
