Page 69 of Gonzo's Grudge
Her mouth brushed the seam of my jacket, the word catching on the leather before it reached my ears. “You.”
I nodded like a vow. “Us.”
The gate buzzed awake on its own this time, like the house had been watching and decided to let its ghosts sleep in. I didn’t roll forward. I just sat with her while it opened, while it closed, while the engine ticked and my heartbeat beat back into her hands and the morning took its time coming around the bend.
We’d move when we moved.
For tonight, we had this ride without going anywhere particular, making any declarations, and it was enough.
Chapter 21
IvaLeigh
I sat at the kitchen table, staring at the rim of my coffee cup like the answers might appear in the dark liquid if I just stared long enough. Mom moved around the kitchen in that quiet, efficient way she had always done, buttering toast and sliding it onto a plate I hadn’t asked for but she knew I needed.
It was late morning, sunlight spilling through the lace curtains, catching dust motes that danced like they didn’t know the world had fallen apart. My father had gone into the study early, phone pressed to his ear, voice pitched low. I hadn’t spoken to him since the dinner where he confessed everything days ago.
Mom set the plate down in front of me and sat across from me with her own cup of tea. She looked tired, but not weak. Tired in the way of someone who had carried too much for too long.
“You’ve been quiet,” she acknowledged gently.
I pushed the toast around the plate. “Just thinking.”
“About him?” she asked, too knowing for me to dodge.
I looked up, startled. She didn’t flinch.
“Mom—”
“I’ve seen the way you look when you think about him,” she shared. “Your eyes light up, even when your world is heavy. I’m your mother. I know.”
Heat crept up my neck. I dropped my gaze to the table. “It’s crazy. We don’t fit.”
She reached across, brushed her fingers over mine. “Honey, love always looks crazy from the outside.”
I swallowed hard, words tangling in my throat. “He’s not like anyone I’ve ever known. He’s rough and hard and sometimes terrifying, but—” I broke off, pressing my palms to my eyes. “But I feel safe with him. Like the kind of safe that isn’t about locked doors or clean streets. It’s about knowing someone would bleed before they let you get hurt.”
Mom was quiet for a long moment. When she finally spoke, her voice was low, thoughtful. “To love a man with that kind of intensity takes a strong woman. Stronger than most. Because you have to meet fire with fire, not smother it or run from it. But you also have to know what you’re stepping into.”
I dropped my hands and looked at her. Her eyes were soft, but there was steel under them.
“You mean Dad,” I replied quietly.
She sighed. “Your father loved me in his way. But it was a love laced with secrets. Secrets that destroyed, little by little, until I didn’t recognize the man I’d married anymore. You can survive a lot in a marriage, but secrets are poison. They seep into everything.”
Her gaze sharpened, pinned me. “Whatever else Gonzo is, he’s honest. Even when it hurts. Even when it’s the last thing you want to hear. That kind of love isn’t easy. It will scar you, bruise you, push you to your limits. But it won’t rot you from the inside out like secrets do.”
My throat tightened. “So you think I’m not crazy?”
She smiled faintly. “Oh, you’re crazy. But you’re also braver than I was at your age. And braver than I am now.” She squeezed my hand. “If you’re going to love him, do it with your eyes open. No agenda. No illusions. And no secrets.”
I nodded, heart pounding. “No secrets.”
The toast sat untouched. I stood, grabbed my keys, and kissed her cheek. “I need to see him.”
She didn’t try to stop me. She just whispered, “Go.”
The road to Gonzo’s cabin felt shorter than it should have. My hands gripped the steering wheel, knuckles white, thoughts racing ahead of me. Every curve of the road carried me closer to a choice I couldn’t unmake.
