Page 155 of Wings of Lies
“Because of this.” I gestured, skirting around her before she took hold of my amulet. “That happens every time the amulet depletes, and I don’t know how to stop it alone. You never let me struggle with it long enough to figure it out. How am I supposed to manage myself if you’re constantly there? How will I ever learn?” I said, flopping down into my favorite armchair. “Mom, I can’t even feel scared out of my mind at the thought of leaving you now. Isn’t that wrong?” I glanced at her, seeing fear in her watery eyes. I didn’t mean to make her feel bad, yet I couldn’t even feel bad about it.
“Love, for a year straight, you woke up in cold sweats. You want to go back to that?” she whispered.
My head fell back against the cushion. “No, but we can’t keep living like this. It’s been eight years, Mom. He hasn’t found us. I want to live.”
She opened her mouth to protest.
“Mom, I’m nineteen and haven’t even kissed a guy. I have no friends. I’m stuck here day after day, reading books and sparring with you. Can’t you see what this is doing to me?”
I hated the wobble in her lip as she sank into the couch, head bowing into her hands. She would always sit in the same spot when her thoughts ate at her. She’d never tell me what upset her, but I had my assumptions. Like all the previous times, I approached her, sat on the carpet, and took her hands.
“Mom, I’m sorry. I know you’re scared. But two, three, five more years of this, and I might literally go insane. We’ll practice my powers. I’ll learn the scope of my emotions with your help. If things go badly, we’ll have the amulet or you, and we can always move. After that, I want to live near people.”
“It’s not safe,” she mumbled into her hands.
“Mom, come on. Please,” I begged.
She snapped her head up, face puffy. “You don’t understand. It’s not just Michael that’s after us.”
My brows furrowed. “Who else?” This was news to me.
“The Tenebrous Kingdom, The Elorian Military, The Council of Righteousness,” she admitted.
I dropped her hands. Stunned. “So, all of Elora. Your entire world?” I’d read all about Elora in the four books I unlocked and stole from my mom’s hiding spot. Although, she didn’t know that until now. But she didn’t even whip her head up at how I learned things about Elora. That scared me. “Why?”
“Because I was never supposed to have you.”
I rocked back. “Why would you say that? You’re sounding just like Michael.” Father was too nice of a term to call him.
She reached toward me, dark hair sticking to her sweaty forehead. I scooted back. “What aren’t you telling me?”
The pain and regret I saw in her frown set the calm she had given me teetering on a cliff.
“Angels don’t have children, Lucille,” she whispered.
I nodded. “I know. You said I was your miracle baby.” And that was it. She’d never tell me anything else.
Tears filled her eyes. The calm she gave me was hanging on by a frayed thread.
“Angels are only created. We don’t conceive because it goes against creation and the balance of our world. But I wanted a child so bad. I didn’t want the life I was created for. And when I heard my friend Miriam found a way. I asked her about it. She told me Lilith helped her.”
“That’s the Queen of…” My mouth dropped open.
“You shouldn’t even know who that is,” she sighed, shaking her head. “I didn’t care. I’d pay any price. Lilith said I needed to use the other side to conceive. And I did.”
“The other side?” I asked. It couldn’t be true. “Are you saying I’m part demon?”
She shook her head, black hair sliding back and forth over her shoulders.
“Then what?”
“Miriam used the blood of a high-level demon to conceive her child, but since she was a Serephim, the demon essence burned away. As an Archangel, I couldn’t take that risk with you, so I found another way. A loophole.”
Based on the pain and regret wrinkling her forehead and creasing her eyes, the loophole cost as much as using demon blood would’ve.
“Tell me.”
My mom looked up to the ceiling as if asking for guidance and then looked back at me, tears spilling down her cheeks. “Michael isn’t your father. And I think he’s figured that out.”
