Page 71 of Riding the Line
Rory rears back. ‘You kissed?When?’
‘Ah,’ I stall, pretending that I’m trying to work out when it was in my head, even though I’ve had the date and time etched into my mind since the second Cherry’s lips met mine. The day she walked into my bar looking for a job was the day my world started turning, but the moment we kissed was when my world found somethingworth turning for, eager to be forever in her glorious orbit. ‘About a month ago?’
‘Oh my God! I can’t believe neither of you told me.’ Rory huffs and crosses her arms. ‘After everything I did to help you at the fair, as well. I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed.’
I raise a brow at her. ‘This is supposed to be about my problems, not yours.’
She waves me off with a grin. ‘Fine, fine. But I don’t see what the problem is if you kissed. She obviously likes you back.’
Actually, she loves me, and I threw it back in her face.
Taking a deep swallow first, I then admit, ‘I – I hurt her.’
‘Oh, how?’
‘Sawyer walked in on us …doing stuffat the bar and I freaked out.’ I drop my head into my hands, hating having to relive that night again. I was a fucking coward. ‘He didn’t even really say anything I didn’t already know – that Wyatt wouldn’t be happy and all that, the whole reason I’ve tried so hard all these years to stay away from Cherry. And he promised he wouldn’t say anything, but I had to tell Wyatt as soon as possible. That’s what a good friend would do and – fuck, Rory, I couldn’t think straight. I just felt like I was drowning all of a sudden.’
Rory rubs circles on my back.
‘Before he turned up, all I could think about was how in love with Cherry I was. She makes me so happy – she makes me less afraid to beme, to honour the parts of me that maybe I don’t always like to shine a light on. She makes me feel brave and has me doing things I’d never thought I’d do. Telling her all my deepest secrets.’ I glanceup at where Cherry’s riding in the distance, a spotlight of sunshine breaking through some wispy clouds onto her. ‘But when Sawyer caught us, it all hit me. Justhowdeeply in love with her I was, and how easily that could all come crashing down. Just like it had before, with Mom and my grandfather. How I could lose so much in one go because I got fed up riding the line and decided to break the rules. I’m not sure I can take it.’
‘Oh, Duke …’
I finally lean back in the swing. ‘She told me she loved me, Rory. And I saidnothing.’
‘But why? You just said you loved her?’
‘I don’t know.’ I rub a hand along my stubble. Silence hovers around us, the only sound infiltrating it being the soft, barely noticeable echo of Cherry’s laughter and voice, carried along the breeze. It’s a melody to my ears, hearing that my fear hasn’t brought her down completely. Because all I’ve ever wanted is to build her up. I would’ve sacrificed every brick in the walls I’ve built around me to keep her at bay, if I knew it would brighten her days even by a fraction.
Rory just watches me, giving me the space to think and confess, like I did a year ago for her. The longest sigh – one I’ve been holding in for maybe years – rolls out of me.
‘Maybe there was a small part of me that thought there was a chance the summer would end, and Cherry would go back to college, leaving us in the past now she felt stronger and more experienced. It would be easier that way … knowing that it wasn’t really a loss, because Cherry was always going to leave. I’ve liked her for years, so I’m used to saying goodbye.’
Weight lifts from my chest as each word of my admission slips out. The storm clouding my head starts to ease. ‘But when it hit me how much I love her, and then she told me she loved me … there was no easy way out anymore. The line was gone. Everything had changed. There was either forever or nothing. And in both of those scenarios, I’m going to lose something. For the first time in my life, the only option was change, when I’ve tried to fight that for so long. There was nowhere to hide this time.’
Rory chuckles. ‘Well, I honestly think you’ve just said more to me in one go than you’ve said to me in the whole year I’ve known you. Feel better?’
I blow out a breath, laughing too. ‘Yeah. This is what she’s done to me, Rory.’
‘Look,’ Rory starts. ‘Love is scary as fuck.’
‘Next self-help book title?’ I joke.
Rory gives me a pointed look, but the corners of her mouth still twitch. ‘And being with someone, loving another, does often mean we have to give up certain things. That we have to change. But a lot of the time those things we have to change were only holding us back. And love might be scary, but it’s also fucking beautiful.’
Hazel eyes twinkling, Rory grins at her diamond-clad finger, engagement ring glittering as it catches the sun.
‘I know you’re scared about losing Wyatt, but he’s your best friend. You’ve been there for each other through so much, I think it would take a lot more than you loving his sister to ruin that. If anything, leaving it like this with Cherry now, knowing she’s hurt, is going to do more damage.’ Gently, Rory takes my hand, giving it areassuring squeeze. ‘But you do need to tell him, otherwise it’ll only make things worse. Wyatt’s a reasonable guy, and all he truly cares about is knowing that Cherry is safe and happy. If you can show him that you’ll provide that for her, then even if it’s difficult for him to accept at first, he’ll come around. Plus,’ she adds with a light chuckle, ‘out of you, Wolfman, and Sawyer, I think we can all agree he’d rather it was you dating his sister.’
That makes me snort. I nod, letting my laugh eventually peter out as I watch Cherry in the distance again.
I’m never going to commit myself fully to anything if I’m always afraid of what I might lose. It’s the same with the bar – Cherry was right that it’s a great opportunity, one that could mean when she graduates we could be closer sometimes – and isn’t that what I want? Do I really want to hold back in fear that Willow Ridge will resent me? That I’ll miss out on things at home when I could finally get the chance to be with the one person I’ve wanted forever, while building up my business so I can share that success with Gram, with my friends?
I think it might be my time to get on my own metaphorical Ferris wheel.
‘I’ve got some grovelling to do, haven’t I?’
Rory snickers, biting her lip as she nods. ‘Alotof grovelling, more like. But it’s okay, I’m here to help you. Besides, if you get Cherry back, and then get married one day, we’ll be sort of related, and that would be so cool.’
