Page 116 of Only You
Him lifting her chin, longing and promise shining in his eyes.
Him falling only moments later.
The blood rushing out of his head.
His limp wrist in her hand as she checked for a pulse.
Tears streamed down her face as she looked at the door, making sure it was locked. Once she was sure, she slid down until her head was fully submerged. Only then did she scream.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Detroit
December 1946
It was all snow and shouting. And blood; that was never missing.
In the midst of it, Selene felt the weight of weary eyes on her back. She tried to run, but her legs didn’t move. Still, she kept trying; something kept pushing her towards the body on the ground. It was a blur, but there was something gruesome about its stillness. She reached out—
She gasped out of her sleep, struggling to catch her breath and trying to ignore the tears that wet her cheeks. Slowly, she sat up, the sweat from her nightmare sitting uncomfortably on top of her skin. Looking over, she saw Jack, still asleep. There was a small wrinkle in his forehead, but she didn’t bother to smooth it out. Instead, she slid out of the bed and headed to the kitchen, parched.
She gulped down two glasses, gripping the edge of the kitchen sink, but the unease remained. For the fourth time that week, she reached into her purse and pulled out a rumpled cigarette pack. She grabbed a pack of matches and went over to the living room window, the only view of the brick apartment building next door. Delicately, she slid the cigarette between her lips and lit it, holding the smoke in her lungs as long as she could until she was forced to let it go.
It had been three weeks.
Regardless of all her knowledge of people and the human body, she couldn’t wrap her head around it. He had stood right in front of her, stronger than ever. He was moving on, becoming who he was supposed to be. Her visit was supposed to make everything better. She was going to tell him of her plans to leave Jack, whether he wanted her or not. She was going to be brave for once. One hit from an angry gambler shattered that and she became a coward once more.
She managed to go the rest of the night without shedding any tears, pretending the news of Demir’s death was new when Nora called the next morning to tell her what happened after she had left the scene. She wished she could say she collapsed in Jack’s arms as an act when she told him, but it felt like her heart was being ripped out every time she said it. The man had been stone-faced about the news, only growing colder when he saw how devastated she was.
She sighed and stamped out the cigarette angrily in a nearby ash tray. From the outside looking in, her heartbreak didn’t make sense. She could barely understand the magnitude of it all herself, especially as the world kept spinning, pushing her to move on. Selene rested her head against the window, the helplessness and grief exhausting her. Three weeks down; only the rest of her life to go.
‘Sorry it took so long for me to get over here,’ Selene told Mackie as she entered his club.
He kissed her cheek. ‘Understandable. You’re a busy woman. I hear you’re graduating soon,’ he said with a proud grin.
She forced herself to smirk, ignoring the hollow feeling in her chest as she realised it was yet another event Demir would miss. ‘Only one more week.’
‘Well, congrats to you.’ He tipped his hat towards her. ‘I have to handle a couple of things before we talk business but have a drink while you wait. On the house.’
Selene hummed in vague agreement as he walked off, dragging her feet to the bar and placing her bag on the counter. The bartender stood in front of her expectantly while wiping down a glass.
‘A gin rickey, please. Courtesy of Mackie,’ she told him. He nodded, leaving to prepare her drink. She mentally ran through the terms Jack wanted her to talk to Mackie about, but the thought of talking about boxing at all sent a pang in her chest. She checked that no one was looking her way before allowing herself to slump over the bar, holding her head in her hands.
Would the world always feel this heavy?
‘Well, well, well. Haven’t see you in a while,’ a familiar sultry voice greeted her. Selene looked up quickly to see Nora perched on the seat next to her. She wore one of her usual bright and glitzy dresses, but her eyes were dull.
‘Hi,’ Selene said, voice uncertain. They sat silently while the bartender placed her drink delicately in front of her. She thanked him quickly before taking a sip.
Nora sighed. ‘It’s awkward, huh?’
‘I don’t see how it wouldn’t be. We’re not exactly friends.’
‘Not at all. But we are familiar.’ She shrugged, unsure of how else to react.
Nora was a strange acquaintance. The only thing tying them together was gone, yet there was a history and understanding she couldn’t ignore. For better or worse, Nora was one of the few people left who knew the real her, and it wasn’t something Selene was ready to let go of yet.
‘You should be happy, you know. Graduating is a good thing.’
