Page 35 of Only You
Lamont laughed sadly. ‘And look what it has gotten me,’ he replied. He reached out and took her hand. She stiffened as he brought it closer to his lips. She felt his sigh caress her skin as he let go. ‘I’m starting to care for you, Sabine, even if you don’t feel the same.’
Sabine shifted on her feet, unconsciously stepping away from him. The shadows shifted, and from the corner of her eyes, she could make out Damien blending into the wall of the estate. She looked down at her feet to avoid staring.
‘I’ll tell the guests you are tired,’ Lamont said. ‘Perhaps I should fetch Sandra.’
‘I can make my own way,’ she said gently. ‘Good night, Lamont.’
‘Good night, Sabine.’ He reached out to her again but seemed to think better of it, walking back to the party.
She waited for him to move out of sight before retiring for the night. When she entered her bedroom, a pair of arms wrapped around her. She gasped before digging her elbow into the person’s stomach. She heard an ‘oomph’ but the arms tightened, and she heard a familiar chuckle.
‘Your self-defence could use some work, but not bad,’ Damien said, kissing behind her ear. She scoffed before turning around in his arms.
‘Don’t scare me like that,’ she admonished. ‘I thought you were downstairs.’
‘I saw you and Lamont parting in the garden,’ he told her. ‘Are you okay?’
Sabine tried to smile, but it didn’t feel quite right.
‘Perhaps we should begin sword fighting again,’ she said instead. ‘My endurance is dreadful now.’
‘If you need to rest—’
‘No.’ She turned and looped her arms around his neck. ‘Stay with me.’
Damien smiled before taking her hand, sliding her ring from her finger. ‘Don’t worry about this,’ he said. ‘I’ll take care of you.’
They kissed, and for a moment, she could relax and just give in. She let herself be taken apart, pleasure racing against her skin. She lost herself in every kiss and embrace, letting Damien enjoy every part of her and doing the same in return.
After he left for the night, she could no longer ignore the feeling that settled in the pit of her stomach. She stared at the windowsill, where Damien had put her ring. Studying the gem, she bit her lip as she realised what her marriage entailed.
She was trapped.
Chapter Fourteen
Paris
June 1896
The next few weeks, Sabine got better at pretending – or ‘playing the fiancée’ as Lamont called it. It became easier to smile and joke in public, to sit next to him and gaze at him fondly when he spoke. She could see the approval in Genevieve’s eyes and the jealousy in everyone else’s.
Sabine didn’t mind the task as of late, mostly because it kept her distracted from the truth: her growing conflict of her feelings regarding her father, even as it pushed the reality of her wedding to the centre of her attention. While Lamont was presumptuous with a tendency to underestimate her, he was undeniably amiable and he enjoyed being in her company. Very rarely did he meet someone that tried to defy him or even could. His brothers were much older, and he had traditional parents. She was his only confidant in his immediate vicinity. Knowing this, it was easy to understand him.
And yet she couldn’t ignore the very present reality that, in any other context, she would be his direct property versus only his presumed property disguised as his partner. It may not have been so terrible if she didn’t know what it was like to be treated like an equal.
The more time she spent with Lamont, the more she wished she was with Damien. He was the only person that made her feel safe and reminded her of herself. When it was all too much, when she got tired of smiling and pretending that she wasn’t intelligent, he was there. She liked how he teased her, how he refused to back down when challenged. He didn’t shrink; he didn’t waver.
She didn’t know how to feel about losing him because the world told her she had to.
‘You must have quite an active mind.’
‘Excuse me?’ Sabine asked as she came back to the present. She and Lamont were watching the horse races, which was much more relaxing than trying to ride together.
‘Your eyes are always so focused, but it feels like you’re never quite here,’ he commented, looking away from the track to her. His eyes softened as they landed on her. ‘They’re beautiful, by the way. As are you.’
‘You must be tired,’ Sabine teased. ‘You’re usually more creative with your compliments.’
‘You seem to respond best to truth, so I decided to oblige you as much as possible.’ Lamont yawned and she chuckled, taking his hand. Even as she did it, it felt like she was stepping outside her body, watching another woman talk with fondness. She was scaring herself with how easy it was to fall into the act.
