Page 36 of Only You
‘No more late nights for you,’ she told him.
‘I promise. At least until the wedding,’ he smirked. She shook her head with a good-natured smile, hoping it hid her discomfort as she slid her hand away.
The announcer informed the crowd the race was about to start, and Sabine looked back at the track. She watched the horses run around in circles. She cheered when she spotted the horse she had bet on earlier making its way to the front. A few minutes later, it managed to make it to second place. She clapped delicately, turning to remind Lamont that they needed to collect their winnings before they left. He was staring at her curiously, his eyes roaming her face lazily.
‘Did you have another suitor at home that you hoped to marry?’ he asked suddenly as the crowd settled.
The sudden question caught Sabine off guard, and she couldn’t stop the image of her first love from popping into her mind, sitting beneath an iroko tree, smiling under the light of a setting sun as the rays warmed his dark brown skin. If she closed her eyes, she could almost feel him tracingje t’aimeclumsily against the back of her hand. She cleared her throat before looking away.
‘And if I did?’ she asked defensively. ‘Would I be less desirable to you?’
‘Of course not,’ Lamont said, and she could hear the frown in his voice. ‘I’m just… trying to understand your reluctance. I’ve never met a woman so angry to marry into a rich family.’
‘Because being an upstanding citizen is so wonderful,’ she said sarcastically, and Lamont laughed unexpectedly. Sabine had never heard him sound so carefree. ‘Yes,’ she told him reluctantly after his laughter had died down. ‘I did have someone I loved dearly. We were best friends for years.’
‘You must miss him.’
She looked down, fiddling with the coin purse in her lap. ‘I try not to,’ she whispered.
‘Do you feel you betrayed him?’
‘Sometimes.’ she said.More than once. The ghost of Damien’s lips travelling up her shoulder… she squeezed her eyes shut.
‘The more comfortable I get, the harder it is to remember that it wasn’t supposed to be this way,’ she revealed. She didn’t quite understand why she was being so honest other than it was the first time someone had asked. The memory was so big, it was difficultto stuff back in the deep corner of her heart that she buried it in.
‘I wish I knew how you felt. Truly. At least I would better understand you.’
Sabine’s throat went dry. Hadn’t she said those same words to Damien, confused how her father could be so consumed by her mother? And now, here she was on the other side, wondering how he managed to live without her. Loving someone you could not keep was nothing more than a ghost one was forced to remember every moment of the day. Who could withstand such torture?
She bit her lip before turning in her seat to face him. ‘Heartache’s no fun for anyone. Most of the time, you just wonder if it’s worth it.’ She could just see him nod before hearing him shift on his side towards her.
‘I hope you’re not offended by this but… I can’t help but wish that one day you feel an inkling of how you felt about him for me,’ Lamont confessed.
She could hear the awkwardness in his voice, as though he weren’t used to being so vulnerable. It was interesting how the simplest words could be so hard to say. She was about to say something about how they had time when he stroked the side of her face. She pulled back, not prepared for him to touch her. He must have taken the reaction for shyness because he laughed softly before guiding her face to his lips.
The kiss felt very matter-of-fact for her, even as he pressed his lips harder against hers. She squeezed her eyes shut as she kissed him back, the moment feeling obligatory and cold. Luckily, he loosened his hold seconds later. She forced a shy smile to her face when he leaned towards her again, turning her face away.
‘You’re going to miss the race, Lamont,’ she whispered, looking ahead, but it was a long time before she felt the eyes on her face disappear. Instead, he took her hand, and she forced herself to hold onto his.
Although he snuck into Sabine’s room almost every night, one of Damien’s favourite ways to see her was their weekly fencing lessons, a development that came after her terrible outing with Lamont. It was nice to interact with her in public, even if it was only as teacher and student. Seeing her in the sunlight was a luxury that he would not pass up.
So, why was he so nervous as he stepped into the garden?
Maybe it was the troubled look she had for the last few weeks when she thought he wasn’t looking. Like now, as she sat on a bench under a tree with golden and burgundy leaves with a pinched expression. It was as if something were haunting her, keeping him out of reach. He wasn’t used to this distance between them, nor did he know how to talk to her about it. He supposed he could be straightforward, but he also knew that she could be a good liar when she wanted to be.
So, a roundabout approach would have to do.
‘A beautiful day,’ he commented.
Sabine jumped, replacing her worry with a small smile.
‘They’re all beautiful.’ She looked over the garden. ‘Despite my initial qualms, France is nice.’
‘I’m surprised your father didn’t bring you sooner, especially since your mother was French.’ He sat beside her on the bench, Sabine’s hands twisting her lap.
‘Mother preferred to be home, which I cannot blame her for after the boat ride.’ Sabine shuddered. ‘Not the best experience, I’m afraid.’
‘Then I shall remain thankful I never chose to join the navy.’
