Page 108 of Only You
He scoffed at his own foolishness. He wanted to be angry, but he was simply exhausted. So, when Selene had run to the store, he slipped out. He took the long way home, wondering how he got here and why the hell he was staying. So often, he ran around with questions in his head, when the answer was quite simple. By the time he entered his apartment, he had clarity that made it easy to pick up the ringing phone.
‘D, what the hell is going on?’ Jack snapped. ‘I came home and Selene was a mess worrying about you. God knows how many times I had to stop her from running around town to look for you or going to the police!’
‘Jack,’ Demir spoke, his voice deceptively calm. ‘I quit.’
Chapter Thirty-Five
Washington, D.C.
October 2013
Occasionally, Dani needed to run away. She never went far, only looking for a place that forced her mind to be quiet for a while.
Today, she kept it simple and went to the cinema, picking a random action film. She didn’t truly care what would be on the screen; sitting in the dark by herself in a room that wasn’t her own sounded blissful enough. She picked a seat in the back row, far from a group that had gathered for the showing. As the lights dimmed and the trailers started to play, she let her mind drift to her research.
After weeks, it seemed that her one and only lead had fizzed out. While she had learned the role of a griot, understood the importance of West African oral history, she couldn’t quite connect it to her and Jones. There were griots in Côte d’Ivoire but they were inherited roles and Kwame didn’t seem to be connected to them. Of course, everything after was long disconnected.
The closest she could get was the role of griots being recordkeepers for tribes. Maybe her and Jones were supposed to be that, but then it didn’t make sense why they were just now remembering. They would have had to remember earlier for that to make sense. And, with that, there was nothing left to explore.
So, another dead end.
She fought back tears as explosions happened on screen, the defeat settling in. She rubbed her eyes, trying to compose herself.
The more she remembered, the harder it was for her to accept what was happening. Maybe it was watching Alexis celebrate her birthday over the weekend, or Talia and Riley making plans for trips after graduation or Dr Carver helping her with her application to the New York Philharmonic last week, but it hit Dani that Selene would never grow old. That more than likely, she herself wouldn’t escape her twenties. She wouldn’t have a future to look forward to. All her work, everything she did to build a life and a career… it meant nothing.
The anxiety around that thought had been a low hum in the background for days but it kept creeping closer and closer to the surface. She didn’t know what to do or how to escape it. How did someone accept death when they never saw it coming?
Dani grimaced as the sun hit her eyes when walking out of the cinema, feeling even worse than when she went in.So much for that.She walked a few blocks to her car, pulling out her phone to check the time. There were multiple notifications waiting for her, social media likes and comments, reminders, emails and texts. She opened the latter, ignoring the one from Dr Carver, and focused on the one about it from Jones sent ten minutes ago.
Still coming for bass lessons?
She chewed on her bottom lip as she stared at the screen. She had promised to meet him at two thirty and it was creeping closer to three. Her first instinct was to ignore him as well, go home and scream into a pillow. Then, she remembered how Dr Castillo would always push her into therapy to seek help among her friends instead of leaning on her instinct to be painfully independent. It was annoyingly good advice, especially since Jones would be the only one to understand her fears. And she would have to break the news eventually.
Heading over now, she typed back before getting in her car.
Jones was standing outside when Dani pulled up, bass strapped across his back. Her grip on the steering wheel tightened and she had to force herself to let go. Jones had dealt with everything well so far. At this point, she wouldn’t be surprised if she was the one breaking down at the end of the conversation. The least she could do was put on a brave face until then.
‘You know, I can meet you in one of the practice rooms,’ he said.
‘Yeah, but your apartment is too nice and too expensive not to spend more time in,’ she said, keeping her tone light and playful. ‘Shall we go?’
‘We shall.’ He gestured for her to go up the steps to the entrance.
She stepped inside his apartment with a sense of familiarity that she suspected she shouldn’t have after only a few visits, considering that it took her two months to get used to the house she rented now. But the place was so undeniably cosy, she couldn’t help relaxing as she flopped on his ridiculously soft burnt orange couch.
As he went to the kitchen, Dani flipped through the artbook on the coffee table. Under it, there was sheet music and she ran her fingers over the notes, playing the song in her head. He set a glass of water in front of her, as he always did, before going to his room to grab one of his basses. He had a collection of ten so far, all mounted on a wall in his bedroom, and he planned on getting another around Christmas.
‘A present to myself,’ he had explained when he first showed her.
She closed her eyes for a moment, hoping he would make it to the holiday. She opened them back up as he returned with a blue-grey bass with a police line neck strap.
‘A Fender Aerodyne Jazz Bass.’ He placed the instrument carefully in her lap, easing the strap over her head when she leaned forward.
‘Such a gentleman,’ she commented as she ran her fingers over the metal strings, mapping out the notes of the frets. ‘If only cello were this easy.’
‘You need some help?’
‘I got it,’ she told him as she tuned the strings, listening carefully to the muted notes. He chuckled as he eased onto the floor in front of her. ‘An expert already.’
