Page 33 of Only You
‘What can I say?’ Damien shrugged. ‘I’ve adjusted.’
Roulet hummed as Damien downed his drink. ‘Not sure if I should be happy that my prized captain is losing his fire.’
‘Ha!’ Damien shook his head at the general. ‘Never that. I’ve merely found better outlets.’
‘Ah, yes.’ Roulet’s gaze focused on him. ‘You have been coming back less and less.’
‘I’ve found a room close to you,’ Damien reasoned. ‘Sabine prefers I be close with the whispers of unrest, especially given the country’s past.’
‘The nobility has long been done away with.’
Damien held back a scoff. He may be a loyal soldier, but he was no fool. The titles may be gone, but the land and money stayed exactly where they were, in the tight grip of the aristocracy. The up-and-coming bourgeoisie only disguised that to a certain degree.
‘Yet, there’s still turmoil,’ he pointed out politely. ‘Madame Sabine is still fairly new to the country. The lack of her father’s presence still makes her uneasy.’
‘And you find kinship with her?’ Roulet’s gaze was sharp, but Damien looked straight ahead.
‘There’s a way of life we understand. She was raised by a fighter, as was I. Both deemed outsiders. We’re warier than most.’
Roulet sighed. ‘Yes, unfortunately. While I respect my friend, I truly wish he hadn’t involved her so heavily in his business. She’s still struggling to accept the engagement. My guess is that she will have trouble settling in as a wife.’ Roulet leaned towards him. ‘I hope you are doing nothing to interfere with that transition.’
Damien’s throat went dry at the knowing look. Sometimes, he truly hated that Roulet was so insightful.
‘I’ve told you I would not.’
‘She’s a beautiful girl.’
Damien bristled at the comment, his hands tightening into fists. ‘Many are,’ he said, an edge entering his voice. Inches apart, Damien wondered who would reach for a weapon first.
‘Donottouch her,’ Roulet warned. ‘And stay at the casern tonight. That’s an order.’
‘Yes, sir,’ Damien forced out, knowing better than to delay his answer.
The two glare at each other, neither backing down. Roulet dismissed him with a wave. Damien didn’t say anything else as he stood up, soldiers scrambling out of his way. Stepping outside the tavern, he punched the wall, the pain in his chest overshadowing the one in his hand.
He was growing tired of the rules that only allowed him to have part of what he wanted.
It had been that way his whole life, from Roulet forging him to be a soldier as a child to being Sabine’s secret lover. Roulet had to hide how he viewed Damien as a son. Sabine had to lie to her family to be able to show him love. It seemed the only way people could show they cared for him was by giving him only half of what he needed.
He slumped against the wall, closing his eyes.
He hated picturing only impossible things but couldn’t resist the fantasy. It used to be living with Roulet as his son or being a war hero. Now, it was living on a farm far away with Sabine. They would be safe and alone. She would ride horses all day while he worked the land. Their children would run free. In the evenings, they would sit together and look at the stars, wanting nothing else in the world.
He opened his eyes, and they landed on grey stone, his heart sinking.
Perhaps Roulet was right. He needed to quit now, save both him and Sabine while he could. That was the smartest strategy, the only real one left. He looked down at his side, where his sword rested against this hip. It was a standard issued weapon; one he had quickly replaced when he became captain with a blade he had personally commissioned. That sword was his most prized possession; he had traded it for Sabine’s bracelet without a second thought.
I love her.
And that bested logic every time. They may have never exchanged the words aloud, but he knew it was the truth. It was the only reason either of them would risk so much. Without a doubt, being in love with Sabine was the most reckless thing he had ever done but it was also the only thing that kept him going. And Damien was not one to give up.
Hours later, he entered Sabine’s room again, burying his nose in her hair as she pulled him into her. He could deal with Roulet’s disappointment later. For now, he focused on the one thing that made surviving each day easier.
‘It’s quite amazing when you think about it,’ Pauline, the blonde, blue-eyed daughter of one lawmaker or another, said to Sabine.
She wished she could keep up with all the names, but despite how much time she spent going over them with Madame Roulet, she was still unfamiliar with the Laurent family’s friends. She hated to admit how overwhelmed swirling crowds of people made her. She wanted to stop hosting and just sit down. Unfortunately, Pauline was insistent on conversing with her.
‘I mean, you got the crown jewel of suitors, don’t you think?’ she asked, a jealous glint in her eye.
