Page 49 of Only You
‘Oh, and Damien, do return my dagger,’ Kwame yelled as the men rushed out the back.
Only when the door slammed behind them did Kwame let go of her. For a moment, she wished he hadn’t. Her legs felt so weak, she could barely stand. She stumbled back a couple of steps at the sight of Cadieux’s blood on the floor, soaking into the carpet. It was a small miracle she had somehow managed to stay on her feet as her father reclaimed his seat.
‘He will live,’ he said, picking up the book once again.
Sabine watched how casually he moved on, how he always did. She thought back to how he would destroy her world in a mere moment only to pretend everything was normal. Maybe it was, and maybe Sabine, for all her fighting spirit, directed her energy at the wrong people. She never spoke out against her father’s punishments. When a decision was made, it was done, but now…
‘You almost put his blood on my hands,’ she said numbly in Fante, the switch unconscious. ‘Just like Daouda.’
It was a name that she hadn’t spoken in years, memories rarely let out of a young boy from her childhood. For so long, they were inseparable best friends. Then they shared their first kiss, and everything changed. She started thinking of marriage and a family with him, a thought she had mistakenly mentioned to her father. Her father vehemently disapproved, but she was stubborn, adamant about being with him. It resulted in a dagger buried in Daouda’s chest.
Her father shrugged, his eyes still on the book. ‘It was necessary.’
Something snapped in Sabine, and she stomped over to him, snatching the book from his hand and throwing it into the fire.
‘Who do you—’
‘He was a boy! He was good!’ Kwame frowned in disapproval, but she continued. ‘He didn’t do anything wrong by falling in love with me, but youkilledhim for it!’
‘And the fact that his life wasn’t enough of a warning makes me question the faith I had in your intelligence,’ her father snapped, making Sabine flinch. ‘He was poor and ordinary. A blip that no one will remember in time. You think you’re suffering now? Your life would have been ten times harder with him.’
‘He cared for me,’ she growled, the aching pit in her stomach a reminder of what her father had taken from her long ago.
‘He would have destroyed you,’ her father shouted, shooting to his feet. ‘He would have given you a life of labour for a “love” that would have faded over time. I saved you from that! And I will keep saving you from ruining yourself, whether you like it or not.’
‘I never needed this!’
Her mind whirled and she felt like she could barely catch her breath. She couldn’t understand. Had she not been a dutiful daughter? Had she not done everything right? How could he treat her this way when he claimed to love her?
Tears of frustration escaped, wetting her cheeks, and when she spoke, her voice was a whisper. ‘Why do you torture me like this? Why do you insist on this life for me? Why do you hate me for being like her? Love and family were enough for mother. Why do you deny me the same?’
Kwame’s eyes practically flashed as he towered over her.
‘It’s not that simple,’ he fumed. ‘Yes, your mother giving up everything gave me the best years of my life, but I’d be a fool if I did not acknowledge that had I been a man of means, she would not have died!’
Sabine froze at the words. She had only a few memories of her mother’s last moments. Her father refused to let her see her mother’s deteriorating state. She only knew that one moment her mother was there and then, suddenly, she was gone.
‘She had a curable disease. Something that only required medicine we could not afford, and it was made no better by the stress of her working,’ he revealed. ‘She should have never had to lift a finger, much less die in a room with nothing but darkness and merciless heat. Had I been the man your grandfather wanted me to be, you wouldn’t have lost her. And for you to be so careless—’
Kwame raised his hand, and Sabine recoiled. His shoulders tensed for a moment before they slumped. She blinked in surprise as she watched her father finally drop his guard, and his hand, his face filled with worry.
‘Ama, I don’t hate you,’ he replied. ‘I love you more than anything in this world. And that means making the decisions you hate now so you canlive.’ He grabbed her by the shoulders and she swallowed nervously at the renewed rage in his eyes. ‘That means I will not let you make this mistake.’
The silence between them was tense, and Sabine could already feel her fear giving away to resentment. She wanted to believe him, but she wasn’t sure her heart could take such a truth.
‘Go to your room,’ he instructed, letting her go. ‘I’ll take care of the mess and be gone by morning.’
She didn’t speak as she hurried up the stairs, stopping only to look down at him over the railing. He was holding his face in his hands.
They were both defeated by tonight.
The next morning, Sabine didn’t bother getting dressed before going downstairs for breakfast. The sun was barely up but she knew the chef, Hugo, would be in the kitchen preparing as a few maids readied the dining room. She prodded at the dark circles beneath her eyes. She had tossed and turned for hours, but her mind wouldn’t quiet. It argued with her father. It agreed with him. The only thing she was sure about was that, in mere hours, she had gone from feeling indestructible to falling apart completely.
Now, she was numb and in need of coffee.
She had only stepped outside her room when Sandra spotted her.
‘Madame,’ she said with a wary look. Sabine prayed she wouldn’t ask about last night. Maybe God decided to grant her mercy because Sandra said, ‘You have company. He’s waiting for you in the garden.’
