Page 54 of Only You
Chapter Nineteen
Washington, D.C.
August 2013
Dani jolted out of her sleep coughing, smoke searing her lungs. She caught her breath as she realised that, rather than a burning villa, she was in her bed. Hands shaking and heart thundering in her chest, her skin felt too tight. The sudden rush of memories spun in her head; she closed her eyes, taking several deep breaths.
It’s not real, she told herself.It’s not real.
Yet, she couldn’t help but get out of bed to get some water to run over her hands. The cold stung her but it was much better than the feeling of her skin burning. Then she went to the kitchen and chugged ice-cold water until her stomach felt like it would burst, wishing she hadn’t talked her friends out of renting the house that had a pool. She would’ve jumped right in.
Returning to her room, she grabbed her phone from the nightstand. It was two a.m. but Jones would answer. At this point, it was routine, waking up in the middle of the night, calling him, talking for an hour and then going back to sleep. He was probably expecting her call. Yet, she couldn’t make herself press the call button. She didn’t know what she would do if she heard his voice that held all the memories.
She closed her eyes as sobs wracked her chest. It was all true. The endings she avoided thinking about, the worst of her ‘dreams’, they really happened. She was going to die soon and Jones would, too. She pressed her face into her pillow to muffle the sound of her crying.
It was the beginning of the end.
Dani should have cancelled her counselling session. She wasn’t fond of lying, but she was also not fond of being labelled crazy, as she knew she would be if she told the truth. She huffed and crossed her arms. She had forgotten her stress ball in her room, so she had nothing to distract herself from the current storm raging in her mind. She dug her nails into her palms, the stinging distracting her briefly from the helplessness, Sabine’s death still fresh on her mind.
‘How are we feeling today?’
‘Fine,’ Dani answered quickly, staring at the ceiling as if it would give her the answers she needed.
‘Did your concert go well?’
‘It went spectacularly,’ Dani said sarcastically.
Ironically, the concertdidgo spectacularly well. Dr Carver had eagerly approached her afterwards, ready to give her another solo for the next performance as well as offering to help her with her resumé for the New York Philharmonic. She was officially a favourite student.
‘And the dreams?’
‘The same.’
‘You seem tense today,’ Dr Castillo observed. ‘Things are tense,’ Dani snipped.
‘Like what?’
‘I really don’t feel like talking today,’ she grumbled, crossing her arms childishly.
‘Dani, could you look at me?’
She tilted her head to the side, just enough to make eye contact with the counsellor. Dr Castillo put her notepad on the table next to her and leaned forward, piquing her curiosity. The counsellor only did that when she was concerned. ‘That was the third time I asked you that set of questions, and you answered it the exact same way every time. Did you notice that?’
‘…No,’ she answered truthfully.
Dr Castillo nodded slowly before sitting back again, her bracelet clinging as she intertwined her fingers.
‘You’ve said in multiple sessions that you do not come here of your own volition. It’s what your parents want out of concern for your mental state, but from what I can tell, you seem fine, Dani. Yes, you have very vivid, repetitive dreams. Yet, they don’t affect your social life, your grades or your general outlook on life. However, your life is more than your dreams. So, if you want to discuss something, this is also a great space for that.’
Dani pressed her arms closer to her chest, holding herself tighter. She immediately remembered her conversation in the garden with Madame Roulet, telling her feelings in Fante and just being able to let it all out. Unfortunately, Dani was limited to English and the words were too heavy to hold.
‘I’m developing a bad habit,’ she said. ‘I’m… I have feelings for someone I shouldn’t.’
‘And why shouldn’t you have feelings for this person?’ Dr Castillo asked.
‘Because my life will end. As I know it,’ Dani added quickly. She couldn’t forget the space wasn’t completely safe. She scratched her knee nervously as Dr Castillo stared at her sceptically.
‘Is this person dangerous?’
